A person's character is a book with many encrypted and lost pages. Usually we judge people in the heat of the moment, by the first impression, which is often deceptive. It takes a lot of time before we really understand what kind of person is in front of us, what drives him, why he behaves this way and not otherwise. After some time, our attitude towards a person can change dramatically: bores turn into the most interesting people for us, and people who at first seemed funny and attractive, in fact, turn out to be banal buffoons from a cheap booth.
The ability to understand people is a whole science. We will proceed from the idea that bad and good people does not happen: we will not condemn anyone and hang the stigma of a loser or a coward, sentence a person, judge him. We will simply help you find your approach to people with different characters, with different life principles and moral values. We will make an attempt to understand the diversity of human individuality. And then it’s up to you to choose: whether you want to communicate with this particular person, put up with his shortcomings, try to appreciate his few virtues or not.
In life, we often encounter difficulties in communicating with different types of people. We will talk about how to overcome these difficulties, how to make communication with any person pleasant and useful. When communicating with people around you, you must remember that each person has his own manner of communication, his own way of expressing thoughts. If you take into account the specific personality traits of each particular interlocutor, then you will definitely be able to find a common language with any person, you will master the science of liking and will be able to achieve your goals during communication. We will help you with this.
Emotions and feelings are the mirror of the human soul
To understand what kind of person is in front of you, you must first of all pay attention to how he expresses his emotions, which feelings dominate in him, and which ones are not developed at all. After all, emotions and feelings are the attitude of a person to the world, the expression of his desires and interests. You will be able to draw a conclusion about the character of a person by learning what causes him positive emotions and what is the subject of negative emotions.
Rule #1
Can a person express his emotions: about emotional and hyper-emotional people
According to a person's ability to express their emotions, we divide people into emotional and non-emotional. The former are quite sensitive to what is happening around them, their sensory world is diverse, they express their attitude to the world and others through all sorts of emotions - anger, despondency, melancholy, tenderness, etc.
There is an opinion that emotional people are easier to communicate with, it is easier to find an approach to them. They do not need to be asked if they liked the movie they just watched or the new employee who appeared at your enterprise. The emotions that overwhelmed them burst out on their own. An emotional person is in a hurry to talk about his impressions and experiences. This, of course, makes communication with them attractive: it is always interesting with them.
But sometimes excessive emotionality is an annoying factor for others. If emotions do not allow a person to calm down, he needs to throw them out on someone. Emotional people are constantly looking for an object on which to dump the burden of impressions from a conversation with a boss or a quarrel with a saleswoman in a store. Such obsession, emotional outbursts can not only irritate you, but be the cause of your emotional fatigue (you, as it were, experience the emotions of an outsider yourself). Hyper-emotional people, as a rule, express their emotions regardless of the desire of others to listen to them - this is vital for them. But for others it is not always pleasant, especially if the emotions are negative.
How to communicate with emotional and over-emotional people? First of all, remember that they need to be listened to, they need to express everything that has accumulated. Therefore, you should listen to them, but do not get carried away by their experiences. Be a little selfish: pretend to listen to them and be absorbed in their emotional story, but in no case take everything you hear to heart. Emotional people tend to exaggerate. If their story dragged on, do not be afraid to stop them, interrupt them, citing their employment.
Rule #2
How to communicate with unemotional personalities: about people without emotions
Unemotional people, as a rule, limit the range of expressed emotions to a minimum. They show their emotionality only in extraordinary, stressful situations. AT ordinary life they are not inclined to show their experiences.
It can be difficult for us to understand the feelings of a person, to understand his attitude to surrounding objects, and to ourselves, if he does not openly express his emotions. Unemotional people seem mysterious and secretive to us, it seems that they have something unkind on their minds. No wonder the best spies and secret agents are well versed in the skill of hiding their emotions. The ability to hide one's feelings makes a person practically invulnerable: we cannot understand what kind of person is in front of us, and therefore we begin to fear him. Sometimes you have to study it for a long time before it becomes clear how it relates to a particular phenomenon, person or event. The emotions of another person give us a good idea of his inner world: we can determine how he lives, what he feels. But if our interlocutor is stingy in expressing his emotional experiences, then we become uncomfortable in his company, we do not know what to expect from him.
In fact, unemotional people do not hide anything, do not hide anything from others, they are just used to expressing their attitude to the world in a different way: not through emotions, but through thoughts.
The difficulty of dealing with unemotional people is largely overstated. Indeed, people of this type will not immediately tell about their experiences, it is not easy to determine how they relate to others: they can skillfully hide their sympathy or dislike. Unemotional personalities are, as a rule, people with a well-developed intellectual sphere - they feel little, but think well, they prefer to express their view of what is happening, having weighed and analyzed everything well. Their attitude to the world is always more thoughtful and reasonable than that of emotional people. It is quite easy to find an approach to such people - they just need to be pushed to talk about their impressions. Try to ask them what they think about this or that matter. In a conversation with people of this type, one should not resort to questions related to assessing their emotional perception, it is easier for them to express their attitude to the subject of the conversation in the form of non-emotional and well-reasoned conclusions.
Rule #3
What emotions prevail in a person: about people with a positive attitude
In life, we are faced with a variety of situations that make us experience a variety of emotions - positive and negative. A person who has received a charge of positive energy is considered more pleasant and interesting interlocutor. Is it so?
Oksana Sergeeva.
How to learn to understand people? 49 simple rules
Introduction
A person's character is a book with many encrypted and lost pages. Usually we judge people in the heat of the moment, by the first impression, which is often deceptive. It takes a lot of time before we really understand what kind of person is in front of us, what drives him, why he behaves this way and not otherwise. After some time, our attitude towards a person can change dramatically: bores turn into the most interesting people for us, and people who at first seemed funny and attractive, in fact, turn out to be banal buffoons from a cheap booth.
The ability to understand people is a whole science. We will proceed from the idea that there are no bad and good people: we will not condemn anyone and hang up the stigma of a loser or a coward, condemn a person, judge him. We will simply help you find your approach to people with different characters, with different life principles and moral values. We will make an attempt to understand the diversity of human individuality. And then it’s up to you to choose: whether you want to communicate with this particular person, put up with his shortcomings, try to appreciate his few virtues or not.
In life, we often encounter difficulties in communicating with different types of people. We will talk about how to overcome these difficulties, how to make communication with any person pleasant and useful. When communicating with people around you, you must remember that each person has his own manner of communication, his own way of expressing thoughts. If you take into account the specific personality traits of each particular interlocutor, then you will definitely be able to find a common language with any person, you will master the science of liking and will be able to achieve your goals during communication. We will help you with this.
Chapter 1
Emotions and feelings are the mirror of the human soul
To understand what kind of person is in front of you, you must first of all pay attention to how he expresses his emotions, which feelings dominate in him, and which ones are not developed at all. After all, emotions and feelings are the attitude of a person to the world, the expression of his desires and interests. You will be able to draw a conclusion about the character of a person by learning what causes him positive emotions and what is the subject of negative emotions.
Rule #1
Can a person express his emotions: about emotional and hyper-emotional people
According to a person's ability to express their emotions, we divide people into emotional and non-emotional. The former are quite sensitive to what is happening around them, their sensory world is diverse, they express their attitude to the world and others through all sorts of emotions - anger, despondency, melancholy, tenderness, etc.
There is an opinion that emotional people are easier to communicate with, it is easier to find an approach to them. They do not need to be asked if they liked the movie they just watched or the new employee who appeared at your enterprise. The emotions that overwhelmed them burst out on their own.
An emotional person is in a hurry to talk about his impressions and experiences. This, of course, makes communication with them attractive: it is always interesting with them.
But sometimes excessive emotionality is an annoying factor for others. If emotions do not allow a person to calm down, he needs to throw them out on someone. Emotional people are constantly looking for an object on which to dump the burden of impressions from a conversation with a boss or a quarrel with a saleswoman in a store. Such obsession, emotional outbursts can not only irritate you, but be the cause of your emotional fatigue (you, as it were, experience the emotions of an outsider yourself). Hyper-emotional people, as a rule, express their emotions regardless of the desire of others to listen to them - this is vital for them. But for others it is not always pleasant, especially if the emotions are negative.
How to communicate with emotional and over-emotional people? First of all, remember that they need to be listened to, they need to express everything that has accumulated. Therefore, you should listen to them, but do not get carried away by their experiences. Be a little selfish: pretend to listen to them and be absorbed in their emotional story, but in no case take everything you hear to heart. Emotional people tend to exaggerate. If their story dragged on, do not be afraid to stop them, interrupt them, citing their employment.
Rule #2
How to communicate with unemotional personalities: about people without emotions
Unemotional people, as a rule, limit the range of expressed emotions to a minimum. They show their emotionality only in extraordinary, stressful situations. In ordinary life, they are not inclined to demonstrate their experiences.
It can be difficult for us to understand the feelings of a person, to understand his attitude to surrounding objects, and to ourselves, if he does not openly express his emotions. Unemotional people seem mysterious and secretive to us, it seems that they have something unkind on their minds. No wonder the best spies and secret agents are well versed in the skill of hiding their emotions. The ability to hide one's feelings makes a person practically invulnerable: we cannot understand what kind of person is in front of us, and therefore we begin to fear him. Sometimes you have to study it for a long time before it becomes clear how it relates to a particular phenomenon, person or event. The emotions of another person give us a good idea of his inner world: we can determine how he lives, what he feels. But if our interlocutor is stingy in expressing his emotional experiences, then we become uncomfortable in his company, we do not know what to expect from him.
In fact, unemotional people do not hide anything, do not hide anything from others, they are just used to expressing their attitude to the world in a different way: not through emotions, but through thoughts.
The difficulty of dealing with unemotional people is largely overstated. Indeed, people of this type will not immediately tell about their experiences, it is not easy to determine how they relate to others: they can skillfully hide their sympathy or dislike. Unemotional personalities are, as a rule, people with a well-developed intellectual sphere - they feel little, but think well, they prefer to express their view of what is happening, having weighed and analyzed everything well. Their attitude to the world is always more thoughtful and reasonable than that of emotional people. It is quite easy to find an approach to such people - they just need to be pushed to talk about their impressions. Try to ask them what they think about this or that matter. In a conversation with people of this type, one should not resort to questions related to assessing their emotional perception, it is easier for them to express their attitude to the subject of the conversation in the form of non-emotional and well-reasoned conclusions.
Rule #3
What emotions prevail in a person: about people with a positive attitude
In life, we are faced with a variety of situations that make us experience a variety of emotions - positive and negative. A person who has received a charge of positive energy is considered a more pleasant and interesting conversationalist. Is it so?
Positive-minded people are in some way a source for recharging, they can improve your not-so-good mood, they readily make contact. Of course, it cannot be denied that people who got up “on the wrong foot”, feeling great, getting to work without traffic jams, in general, charged with positive energy for the whole day, become somewhat selfish in communicating with others. They assume that a great start to the day automatically means that the whole day should be excellent: colleagues and loved ones are happy, the boss is in a good mood, the weather is great. They see everything in pink, protect themselves from unnecessary worries and conflicts, wanting to keep their excellent mood for a longer time. Therefore, they may miss, for example, the fact that you are in some kind of trouble or you are not feeling very well. Forgive them for this.
How to communicate with positive people? You should not run after this person all day, in the hope that they will give you your portion of positive energy. The best course of action is to cheer on your colleague or loved one during the day, as if maintaining his positive attitude, finding his jokes successful, making compliments - and then you will feel that you yourself have recharged very well for the whole day. Do not gloat if your morning did not bring you as many positive emotions. Carriers of positive emotions are not an eternal battery of Energizer, their mood can quickly change if it is not stimulated. If you try to maintain this spark of positivity at work or at home, then you yourself will be charged with positive energy, but if you immediately extinguish it out of envy or irritability, then you will establish an atmosphere of hostility and discomfort.
Rule #4
What emotions prevail in a person: about people with a negative attitude
It is generally accepted that it is easier to communicate with positive people than with people experiencing negative emotions. But what about people who are usually negative? Is it worth it to communicate with them or is it better to avoid any contact?
It is much more difficult to approach people who are negatively minded, as they are embittered and overwhelmed with negative emotions.
Remember one thing: you should not ignore a person who is overwhelmed with negative energy. If you do not try to help him relieve stress at the very beginning, then this negativity will certainly begin to spread to others. Of course, you should not act as a psychotherapist and run to your unsuccessful colleague, demand that he tell you about what is bothering him.
But this does not mean that you cannot help him: you can defuse the situation and remove the negative by showing elementary human attention, for example, treat him to your delicious flower tea or help not in service, but in friendship and do a small part of his work, unless, of course, it doesn't bother you.
Rule #5
Are human emotions active: about sthenics and asthenics
People who are dominated by active emotions, such as joy, anger, anger, etc., are called stenics. Their emotions always cause a rise in strength, excitement, tension. In contrast, asthenics are people who experience emotions that suppress vigorous activity, reduce a person’s energy, for example, longing, sadness, despondency, depression.
It is very easy to distinguish sthenics from asthenics. The former, under the influence of their experiences, are capable of active actions. For example, the pleasure of sounding music makes the walls want to sing along, dance to the beat, while asthenics are limited to mimic expression of their emotions (half-smile, smile, closed eyes). Fear, for example, forces the sthenic to mobilize all his real and potential possibilities. Asthenik, feeling fear, enters into a stupor.
Difficulties in communication arise if they communicate with each other, that is, one of the interlocutors is a stenic, the other is an asthenic. You can master the science of communication with a representative from another group if you begin to take into account his dissimilarity to you, his special, specific features that you do not possess.
In dealing with a stenic, you should not be surprised by his stormy activity and desire to actively show his emotions. Be tolerant of the fact that your interlocutor will be in a state of constant emotional stress. If something outrages him, then he will definitely be indignant "out loud"; if he is delighted, then very actively; if he gets angry, then in such a way that others will notice it. Do not stop the wall and ask him to behave more modestly. The most correct model of behavior is to wait out the “storm”, give him the opportunity to speak out, express his emotions. The advantages of communicating with sthenics: they are active, easy-going, most often positively minded, quite mobile, more sociable than asthenics.
Asthenics in appearance may seem unemotional people. But in fact, they experience more restrained emotions that do not push them to be active, they are more passive and immobile. Sometimes they say about them that they are boring, always sad and dreary. When communicating with such people, it is best not to put pressure on them, not to insist on a more active expression of emotions (for example, you would like your asthenic interlocutor to express his anger openly, and not just mutter something under his breath; for an asthenic is a daunting task). You need to get used to the fact that their emotions are expressed in a boring way. There are also advantages in communicating with asthenics: their emotions are more stable than those of sthenics. They are characterized by a deep inner concentration, which speaks of the thoughtfulness of their actions. They prefer to first analyze their impressions, and only then proceed to concrete actions.
Rule #6
How to communicate with people in a good or bad mood: about people with a constant emotional background
Each person has his own emotional background, which we call mood. In life, we meet people with a positive emotional background and a negative one. Simply put, we have to communicate with people who are always in a good or always bad mood.
Comfortable in communication are people of the first group - those who are usually in a good mood. These people are quite positive about communication, they often smile. Finding an approach to such people is very simple: they are quite open and happy to make contact. You can talk to them about almost any topic. Although there are some disadvantages in communicating with these people: they are not easy to alarm, their positive emotional background is quite stable, so do not expect sincere condolences from them if you suddenly tell them about your grief or life's difficulties. Most often, such people dodge conversations on “sad”, “sad” topics or do not take them seriously.
Communicating with people who are always in a bad mood is not a pleasant occupation. We feel that talking to them can spoil our own mood. We give such people the most unpleasant nicknames behind their backs - "grouche", "grumbler", etc. In the team they often turn out to be white crows, as they are not liked. Remember that their bad mood cannot be seen as an unwillingness to communicate with other people. They also need communication. In order for communication with such people to bring certain results, so that your conversation is not a burden to either you or your interlocutor, adhere to the following rules.
Do not try to cheer up your gloomy interlocutor. These people don't need it. Remember that their bad mood is not a consequence of any troubles and life problems, this is their normal state. Your attempt, for example, to tell them a joke will be perceived negatively, your efforts will not be appreciated, you will definitely not hear the desired laughter at the end of your story, but you will encounter bewilderment from your interlocutor. Only a very joyful event that will be directly related to them can cheer up such people. Don't ask them to smile back when you smile. This is not typical for people with a constant negative emotional background. Even if they follow your advice, their smile will look unnatural.
You will have to get used to their specific attitude towards the world around them: they question everything. Their life credo is to expect a blow from life at any moment.
Such people are not always losers in life. A bad mood can be characteristic even of successful, well-advancing people in life. Their mood is a kind of protective reaction of the body. They are reinsured in advance in case of failure, the collapse of their plans and hopes. If they fail, no one will even notice any visible change in their behavior. If a big deal or a long-awaited business trip abroad fails, it will be easier for them to hide their disappointment.
Rule #7
Does a person’s mood change quickly: about “mood” people
Sometimes we have to communicate with people with changeable mood. The emotional background of such people changes very often and suddenly, when we do not expect it. Any little thing, any detail can easily spoil their positive attitude. And some inappropriate or unsuccessful joke will make them laugh - and they will forget about numerous problems.
People with unstable moods are very difficult to communicate with. Usually, their behavior and sudden emotional swings can confuse us, we can forget about the purpose of the conversation, go astray. The reaction of mood people can be unpredictable, we cannot predict how they will react, for example, to our request to work on the weekend or to the fact that their expected promotion is temporarily postponed.
How to properly communicate with such people? In a conversation, you should adhere to the tactics of "getting ahead of the interlocutor." You must take a strictly leading position in the conversation, as if ahead of their emotional reaction to your words. For example, if you have to tell a person of mood unpleasant news, it is better to start right away with it, without putting it off indefinitely. If you report something unpleasant at the end of a conversation, then this person will definitely have an unpleasant aftertaste about the entire conversation as a whole. After, for example, you inform that the long-awaited vacation is postponed until the next month, try to immediately restore the emotional balance of your colleague - reassure him that next month the trips will be much cheaper, and the weather in the hot country where he is going, more gentle, so acclimatization will not be so difficult. Remember that for people prone to sudden mood swings, you can quickly spoil the mood, but after that you can easily pick it up. The main thing - never leave him alone with bad thoughts. Always leave on a good note.
Try to always control your conversation, do not miss the main thing, do not succumb to your partner's mood swings. Very often, people who are able to rebuild themselves depending on the situation very easily manipulate others. Feeling that they have an unpleasant conversation ahead, they may get ahead of you and complain about their problems, thereby pitying you. You have a desire to postpone the conversation until a more convenient moment. Do not follow the lead of such people - always say what you were going to say, do not postpone the conversation on the back burner.
There are certain advantages of communicating with people of mood. It is always interesting with them: they do not tire you with monotonous grumbling or forever good mood. They are always different and new. They are very mobile, easily adapt to the situation, able to express sincere joy and true condolences.
The ability to understand people from birth is not given to everyone. Often we are driven by the first impression of a person or previously heard information about him. Such information is often misleading and interferes with the perception of the other person.
How to understand people when meeting?
A lot can be learned about a person, thanks to the ability to "read" his facial expressions and gestures.
If the directed hand for shaking is turned with the palm up - the person is sincere, down - it conceals a lot.
Pay attention to the eyes of a person, since they can tell a lot about a person’s real emotions, which cannot be hidden, because it’s not for nothing that the eyes are called the mirror of the soul.
It is worth mentioning human gestures. For example, 7 basic gestures of a person telling a lie were identified.
To better understand the character of a person, ask what he is interested in, a hobby can tell about the activity of the interlocutor, the orientation of interests, and will give many new topics for conversation.
The secrets of the art of understanding people are conveyed in the proverb “Tell me who your friend is - and I will tell who you are”, usually this is attracted. Knowing that a person spends time in a dubious company, one should not expect complete honesty and readiness to help from him. A man who has 2-3 old true friends will always insure and help in a difficult moment.
How to learn to understand people?
Understanding others comes with experience, and he, as you know, is the son of difficult mistakes. formed from little things, taking into account the habit of noticing keywords in phrases, looking at fleeting gestures, or remembering your favorite car brand, you can judge such character traits as courtesy, compliance, practicality. The pace of the conversation will tell you how quickly the interlocutor thinks and makes decisions, the choice of words - how well he thinks through each step. In the process and at the end of communication, it is important to analyze what thoughts the interlocutor conveyed and whether the meaning embedded in the words converges with you. Simply put, the phrase "the sun is shining now" for one interlocutor means that it is daytime, and the other will take it as a sign of good warm weather. In such cases, it will be useful to ask again and clarify in order to avoid subsequent disagreements.
Proposed by Hippocrates, based on the predominant type of fluid, of the four that flow in the human body: sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric and melancholic. This classification was scientifically confirmed by I. Pavlov, a Russian physiologist. He confirmed that one hundred sanguine has a strong, mobile; phlegmatic - strong, balanced, but inert. Cholerics are distinguished by a strong and unbalanced temperament, while melancholics are weak.
These properties of temperament are not laid down at the genetic level and are practically not amenable to change. The concept of "bad" or "good" does not apply to any of these types. Each has its own merits and demerits. If temperament is innate, then character is an acquired property that is formed under the influence of various social groups - family, school, labor collectives.
In addition, according to K. Jung, there are various initial prerequisites for the construction of different psychological typologies. So, for example, people are also divided into extroverts and introverts. These two types embody two ways of world perception and attitude to the surrounding reality. An extrovert focuses on events, objects and people that surround him. He makes his decisions taking into account the requirements and rules of the society around him. An introvert lives in his own subjective world and does not feel very comfortable in society; from interacting with him, he loses energy, which he replenishes in solitude.
Jung also argued that each person, having the basic four psychological functions: thinking, feeling, sensation and intuition, has one of them as the predominant one. According to Jung, men are dominated by thinking and feeling, women by intuition and feeling.
Knowing the peculiarities of behavior and perception of each psychological type, you can not only understand people, but also find your life meaning and choose those deeds and life paths that correspond to your nature.
note
Understanding people is easy. Very, very easy. All information about how this particular person will deal with you in the future always lies on the surface and is available literally at the click of a finger. All cases that seemed to be exceptions turned out to be just more complex cases of applying the same laws. It is very flattering and pleasant to assume that you are all so beautiful from yourself, and with you this person will be completely different.
Useful advice
The need to learn to understand people arises most often after a person is deceived several times about others. Those who at first glance seem to be reliable, responsible people can unexpectedly fail, the one whom we consider kind and caring hurts us, and someone in whom you did not suspect high spiritual qualities turns out to be a true friend and wonderful man.
Look at your dressing table or shelf - how many bottles of perfume do you have? We so often thoughtlessly buy the next fashion novelties that we miss the most important thing: if you choose your perfect fragrance, it will become your best friend in difficult times, improve your mood in the blues and even warm you in winter - our experts are sure of this.
1. Gather a collection or be faithful?
“There used to be a beautiful custom - a woman had a perfume that she always wore,- recalls the legendary perfumer Jean-Claude Ellena. - When she entered the room, you could recognize her by the thin plume of fragrance, feel the presence without seeing her yet. But this, I must admit, is rather boring - today's fashion to choose fragrance as clothes, according to mood, I like it much more. After all, your mood can change several times a day, why do you need to squeeze yourself within the framework of conventions with aromas?. In addition, smells usually become emotional triggers, and if everything goes well with moments of happiness, then the one that you wore at the wrong time can instantly cause internal discomfort and require replacement. "Smells have an amazing ability to bring back memories,- said the actress Chiara Mastroianni. - When I hear the perfume that my ex-beloved used, I feel for a second the emotions that overwhelmed me in the distant past. Although in ordinary life I don’t remember him at all”.
2. Do not argue about tastes
It's not even about what and who exactly likes it, but rather that on different skin the same fragrance can be revealed in absolutely its own way. It is also difficult to find any patterns here: even the cheapest and simplest perfumes, if successfully matched with skin chemistry, can sound much more beautiful than expensive “selectives”. Therefore, trying the fragrances on yourself and not focusing too much on the favorite perfumes of girlfriends, acquaintances or random passers-by is a must if you want to find your perfect match.
Mandatory for dating: Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, rich floral, but surprisingly light and sunny (perfumer - Jacques Polge). Frederic Malle Le Parfum de Therese, with dominant fruit, but without being overly frivolous (Edmond Roudnitska). Clinique Aromatics Elixir, the legendary soothing and harmonizing aroma of herbs and resins (Bernard Chant). Dior J "Adore L" Absolu, a floral-woody classic with a modern twist (Francois Demachy)
3. Sniff all the time
Scientists believe that in our time we have practically ceased to use the sense of smell: we do not need to sniff food - after all, it has an expiration date; we don't have to keep an eye on an undying fire and generally be distracted by these strange primal inconveniences. Therefore, nature gradually, generation after generation, gets rid of the “extra” genetic load, and now the sense of smell, like the musical ear, can (and should!) be trained. And this is the easiest, because you can smell absolutely everything, starting with kitchen spices, herbs or flowers. Remember how wonderful the freshly printed technique smells? And the new leather gloves? A blooming rose, a freshly broken branch of a tree, and air after the rain?
4. Forget about snobbery
Marketing games dividing fragrances into various sectors usually only confuse everyone. Forget about niche and mass perfumes, expensive and cheap. Focus only on how they smell, listen to the scent like music. First from afar, from a paper blotter. In case of sympathy, apply the fragrance to the skin and let it fully open up, tell the whole story from beginning to end, and at this time you listen to your feelings. The beauty of being passionate about perfumery is that there are no rules as such and everything happens intuitively: you yourself will understand whether you like the smell or not. And if you like it, that's enough.
Warm, rich oriental fragrances with amber, vanilla and resins create a feeling of comfort and coziness that we need so much in winter, And in summer we are happy to wear silk, chiffon and flying and “ringing” toilet waters
Francoise Donche
5. Learn notes
Even if you distinguish the smell of a white rose from the smell of a red one from the first second, it is not always easy to understand the language of perfumers, and a rose note in a composition may not sound like a flower in nature. Most perfume materials are synthesized, and this conditional rose can take on a light caramel or smoky nuance. The iris note is usually either powdered, or something that looks like boiled carrots, or a subtle abstract floral scent that only vaguely resembles iris itself. What can we say about amber, incense and a thousand other notes that are not found in ordinary life. Therefore, for an approximate understanding of the prospects, it is worth expanding your perfume “primer book”: getting acquainted with the aroma, read what perfumers made it from, and try to find the notes that you like - this will help you navigate hundreds of new products easier in the future and choose promising favorites in absentia .
6. Assemble a collection the way a wardrobe is assembled
In an ideal closet, if it existed, there would be clothes for all occasions and something in reserve. The perfume wardrobe should be approached with the same yardstick: choose the most diverse aromas that bind your favorite notes. Official classifications (floral, oriental, chypre, and so on) are of little help here: there are dozens of varieties in the floral fragrance family alone. Therefore, here it is worth using an intuitive approach: for example, finding your favorite light and unobtrusive fragrance-robe - usually colognes can easily cope with this role. Think about what aroma and what notes you associate with a formal suit, and which ones with a silk blouse, what will be comfortable to walk in the rain, and what you will want to go outside in winter. The division of fragrances into winter and summer, by the way, is one of the most correct. “Warm, rich oriental fragrances with amber, vanilla and resins create a feeling of comfort and coziness, which we need so much in winter,- He speaks Francoise Donche, perfume expert Givenchy. - And in the summer we are happy to wear silk, chiffon, and flying and “ringing” toilet waters..
The winners in the Well Preserved category are modern formulas that faithfully reproduce the sound of the original: Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue, one of the first incredibly trendy aquatic fragrances (perfumer Olivier Cresp). Estee Lauder White Linen, founder of the popular flow of pure fragrances a la white shirt (Sofia Groysman). Thierry Mugler Angel, a gourmand fragrance that has become incredibly popular despite an overdose of sweetness (Olivier Cresp). Sisley Eau du Soir, a chypre that has not lost its characteristic bitingness even in the absence of natural oakmoss, which is forbidden in perfumery (Jeannine Mongin, Isabelle and Hubert d'Ornano)
7. Know the author
In the same way that we read all the books of our favorite writers, you can do it with fragrances - if you like the "handwriting" of a perfumer, most likely you will like something else that he created earlier. “I really love jasmine,- confessed somehow Jacques Cavalier, explaining my love for powerful, viscous floral perfumes - and I generally use notes of white flowers more often than others. This is the soul, and I want to work with it. ” Most bright stars completely different perfumes make the perfume scene: Olivia Giacobetti plays on halftones, as if painting with watercolors, Christine Nagel (Hermes) knows how to combine incongruous, warm and cold, sweet and salty; Olivier Polge (Chanel) - builds very easy-to-perceive, linear compositions, without losing harmony and ideas.
8. Systematize impressions
Perfumery memory, unfortunately, works extremely difficult and unpredictably - certain smells can very quickly throw us into the past and bring back memories, but it is given to units to recognize them the way we recognize the taste of food. Therefore, it is better to write down all your thoughts and impressions of each fragrance in the most detailed details. Just so that after some time you can check with these notes and compare your feelings. And, perhaps, to return to some undeservedly forgotten, but wonderful fragrance and understand that sometimes love is not at first sight.
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