To score on everything and live in peace, the following tips will help you.
To accept a problem means to start moving towards its solution. The fact that you are now reading this article speaks for itself - you realize that you are loading more than you should. Much more than it should. Let's try to figure it out. If you are spicy on the verge, and you no longer have the strength, then the following advice will help you structure all your thoughts on the shelves and streamline your further actions.
- Take a piece of paper and write down everything that worries you, point by point.
Do not be afraid!
Be honest with yourself. It is important!
Tell yourself: Yes! I feel anger (uncertainty, fear, resentment, doubt). I have a lot of cases that I want to close soon. It is advisable to write everything down from the most serious to the most trifling.
- Next, think about ways to solve each of the identified problems. Be sure to write down all your thoughts.
Wonderful!
Now you have a scheme for solving your problems, which you yourself have created. Why don't you start putting it into practice? After all, there are answers, they are ready and, most likely, simple. If some tasks remain unresolved, catch yourself thinking: is there any point in worrying about them, will this fix the situation? Or maybe they are not so important and can be done later?
- Realize it!
The method through acceptance and awareness of the problem, described above, is very effective in relieving anxiety, resolving internal contradictions, and getting rid of unwanted thoughts.
However, solving current problems will not protect you from inventing new ones. It is important for you to learn not only to be able to get out of the state of brain congestion, but not to enter it at all. The ability to "score" is an art, which we will talk about next.
“Why are you worried about what those who do not play any role in your life will think of you?”
Valeria: This is the question my psychologist friend once asked me. I, who was then still worried about the opinion of the boss, colleagues, visitors, past flying flies, was perplexed by this statement. I paused and thought. And, you know, I still can’t answer why I was so worried about someone else’s opinion about me. Why was I wasting my life force trying to please everyone?
It is no coincidence that the world and we in it are so multifaceted. Everyone has their own opinion, attitude to things, tastes. It is unlikely that there will be at least one person on the planet who was a complete copy of you, with the same tastes, views on life and the future, with the same aspirations and life positions. Even twins have different opinions on these matters.
People will never be satisfied with you with all their seven billion members. Be you at least a million times perfect, smart and beautiful, I assure you: there are those who will be annoyed by this. So is it worth spending time, effort and energy trying to be the way they want to see you?
Remember : changing yourself to the preferences of everyone in a row, you lose your uniqueness and individuality. In other words, you are losing yourself.
Valuable opinion only those who are really important to you in life. This is a family, loved ones and closest people. But it is they who, as a rule, do not seek to change us, because they love us for who we are.
As for strangers, passers-by, colleagues and bosses, they, by and large, do not care about you. People live for themselves. Therefore, all your attempts to prove to someone that you are such, and not some other senseless. Knowing this makes life very easy. Also remember that you do not live for them, but in order to become and be happy and light, enjoy everything that surrounds you and be filled with joy and strength.
Very often, when a person comes to such an understanding and stops thinking about the opinions of others, they begin to look closely at him and notice, approve of his actions and deeds. But at this moment, a person absolutely does not care what others say, the main inner satisfaction from life!
Just live. Live simply. Learning to be simpler
People who do not know how to "score" on the unnecessary, filling their heads with superfluous things, greatly complicate their stay on the planet. A few simple steps will help you score everything and live in peace, which will simplify life, make it more pleasant and allow you to ignore the little things.
Step 1. Let go of waiting
Louise Hay, author of books on joyful perception of life and health, gave advice to her readers: "Try to approve of everything in yourself for one day and see what happens." Stop analyzing yourself, waiting for someone's answer, conclusion or verdict, don't evaluate anyone. Just accept reality as it is. Be a little easier.
Step 2 Live for today
Free yourself from the burden of thoughts and expectations. Yesterday is already over - forget about it. Tomorrow has not yet come - you will think about the events of the coming day when their time comes. You only have today, do not waste it, plunging into the experiences of the past and the expectations of the future. See how beautiful the snow is falling. Listen to your favorite music. Enjoy the taste of ice cream or freshly brewed coffee. Look at everything through the lens of joy. Do not deprive yourself of a day off, do not fill them with work. Be alone with yourself or with your family. Leave everything until Monday!
Step 3 Overcoming fear
There is a very wise quote: “Our doubts are our traitors. They make us lose what we might have won if we hadn't been afraid to try."
Just think about these words! Very deep and valuable thought!
There are many reasons for unnecessary excitement, worries. The source of them all is banal fear. Fear of being left with nothing, fear of loneliness, fear of making the wrong decision. That is why we don’t quit jobs we don’t like, we don’t care about other people’s opinions, we don’t say “no” to others, we don’t say “yes” to ourselves.
Most of our fears are nothing more than a stereotype of thinking imposed by society, a fantasy. In fact, most situations do not require concern. They are just a fantasy. They exist only in your head.
The most correct solution to this problem is to be guided by the inner voice, the call of the soul, without thinking about any “if”. "The heart will never say to do bad"- motivating and literate words.
Don't think about losing. They often say: "It's better to do and regret than not to do and regret". Furthermore, our mistakes are our best teachers, because they shape our personality, make us wiser, and often better.
Step 4 Change of world view
Imagine for a moment how much time you spend every day thinking about all sorts of unnecessary mental garbage. Now think about how you could spend this time if you were doing something really useful and productive. I don’t want to upset you, but there is an opinion, and it is true, that a person who really has something to do is not up to extraneous small thoughts. His brain is completely occupied with serious matters. So, maybe it's time to pull yourself together and think about the global? Engage in the development of your mind and body, begin to cultivate confidence and strength in yourself. As you get better, you let go of the need to worry about the little things. You just won't be up to it.
Think about what's really important. Separate the wheat from the chaff.
Step 5 Through relaxation to problem solving
The brain's need to "cling" is a bad habit. You may even realize that you can “score” and not “steam”, but still scroll through unwanted thoughts in your bright head. You can and should get rid of this. For starters, relax. Constant tension is an excellent soil for the development of harmful thoughts. Sports and yoga will help you cope with emotions. Try to notice the moment when you start to "load". When you "catch" it, do not let the unwanted thought spread through your brain - stop it. Quickly shift your attention to something else, don't let your brain think it through, just mark it and go about your business. This practice is very effective. It's only difficult at first. Later, this becomes a new, useful habit - not to fill your head with nonsense.
Awareness of these simple tricks will make your life a hundred times easier! It is important not only to learn the ability to abstract from the opinions of others, but also to bring it up in your children.
Laugh!
To score on everything and enjoy life helps laughter and a positive attitude. Many of us fear embarrassment, misspoken words, or foolish actions. Self-analysis takes so much energy from us that, having collected and launched it into right direction, could light up a small town. The strongest and most internally whole people have a unique skill. They can and are happy to laugh at themselves. Why "load" if you can smile and move on?
Sometimes it is amazing how people talk for years about some incident that happened to them many years ago. Each time these stories are emotional. It makes you want to say, "Yes, forget it already!".
Well, so are you, forget about what worries you already! As the song says, "It was, it was, it was, but it's gone."
Forgot! Scored! Let's go! :)
Be honest
If you are “loading” in vain, then think, what will this worry bring you? Never mind! So why do you need it? Why waste time on this? Do you live so boringly or something that you allow all sorts of "trash" to settle in your head ?!
We are often afraid to admit to ourselves what we really want. Thinking about condemnations, mistakes, we plant a huge load of doubts in our heads and souls, which haunts us.
We are “loaded” with thoughts about how to do the right thing, what to say, what to answer.
The answer is simple: speak and act honestly.
Being honest is always right. Not being afraid to tell the truth (to yourself, first of all!) is the choice of strong and wise people.
Let go of unnecessary thoughts, stay alone with yourself and answer the question: what exactly do I want? And move in the right direction. Do not be afraid to change jobs, stand up for your rights and protect yourself by rebuffing the offender.
Many of us are tormented by feelings of guilt due to missed opportunities, mistakes made. But this is experience. And for him you can only feel gratitude, because he builds our personality.
Forgive yourself for all your misunderstandings. Forgive the people around you for the negative emotions that they brought you. All this is long in the past, lessons learned, mistakes corrected. There are new opportunities and chances ahead, do not lose them by delving into the "dirty linen" of the past.
By clearing your thoughts, you will free up space for the really important things that will delight you, because they are desired by you.
Replace obsessive thoughts with positive ones
Like it or not, but any, even the most unpleasant situation, has its positive aspects. Let's see how you can turn obsessive thoughts into positive ones.
| Obsessive thought-anxiety | Substitute thought with a touch of positivity |
| I made a mistake at work. | This error allowed me to learn how to fix it. This situation has helped me avoid this in the future. |
| I am concerned about my boss's opinion of the quality of my work. | I am a diligent, hardworking, executive employee. I try to do my job as carefully as possible. My leadership sees this. I have nothing to worry about. |
| Suddenly people will not approve of my work. | I love my job. It brings me pleasure. I feel comfortable doing this, and this is more important than their opinion. |
| What will people think of me. | I want to focus on my inner comfort and happiness, on the opinions of the people I love. |
| I blame myself for missed opportunities. | There are many new, wonderful opportunities around me, which I use sensibly and wisely. |
Results
So, how do you still “score” everything:
- Awareness of the problem- a mandatory step to solve it, 70% success. Admit to yourself that your life can become easier and more enjoyable without negative thoughts, and it will become so. Allow yourself to think only about the important things.
- Forget about other people's opinions. Lots of people, different opinions. It doesn't matter. It is important to be loved and loving in the eyes of those who light the fire of your heart. All the rest are just companions.
- Be more simple. Being simple does not mean being primitive. To be simple means to be able not to complicate life where it does not require troubles.
- Fill your life with joy. Laugh at yourself, at situations, and Life will bring you joy.
- Be honest and sincere. This will save you the unwanted need to make things up or look for reasons, which in turn will make life easier and more enjoyable.
Remember that your life is here and now, and only you can decide what it will be. Do you need thoughts that bring nothing but discomfort? And who needs them anyway? Smile and enter the new day happy and not burdened with unnecessary mental burden.
ANOTHER OPINION / How not to depend on the opinions of others
The ability to enjoy life is not given by nature to everyone. It is not uncommon for many of us to fall into a pessimistic mood, moments when we should pay closer attention to situations in which it is quite possible to enjoy. How not to focus on the negative, and learn to notice the joys that life gives us?
It is important to learn to live here and now
Often, we are upset by thoughts about what happened a long time ago or about what has not happened yet (and there is no certainty that it will be). We think about possible scenarios for the development of certain events, fantasize about how we could act in order to prevent any unpleasant consequences, and the like. Thus, we are not present in the present moment, wandering through the backyards of the past and the illusory future. Thus, we deprive ourselves of our present. That is why it is very important to drive such thoughts away. Of course, sometimes it’s nice to plan a vacation, or think about what interesting gifts you can give to loved ones, for example, on New Year. Thinking like this won't hurt your day, but don't let negativity occupy your thoughts.
Don't get discouraged no matter what
In order to live happily, it is important to learn to be an optimist. Surely, you have noticed that there is a category of people who try not to lose heart, no matter what. And they are doing great! At first, many of us are perplexed, looking at such people, but over time we understand that it is much easier to live this way. Sometimes, it can be very difficult to find positive aspects in certain situations, but it is always worth trying to do it. If this task seems overwhelming to you, set yourself up for the fact that even if everything is not very rosy now, one day it will pass. Unfortunately, life cannot be filled only with joyful events, but they certainly follow after sorrows. Maybe that's why we eventually learn to appreciate them for real.
Enjoy life to the fullest
Don't put your life on hold. If possible, enjoy your present to the fullest. Perhaps you have a dream that is quite possible to realize in a short period of time, but you leave its realization "until better times"? You can bring these “better times” closer right now if you do what you really want!
Psychologist's advice: how to find joy in life
Your life will be joyful if the people closest to you have reasons for joy. It would seem that there is no connection, but it's obvious! It is very difficult to live happily when your loved ones are not doing well, but if you find a way to improve the lives of others with pleasant surprises, support, help, then it will become easier for you yourself - at least from the realization that you bring positive emotions to the family, second soul mate or friends. Undoubtedly, close people will try to answer you the same.
It's important to live your life
Often we sink into depression due to the fact that we take on other people's hardships or live as we are told, and not as we ourselves want. It is not surprising that under such circumstances it is quite difficult to get real pleasure from life. Meanwhile, if you learn to distinguish between what you want yourself and what you are being pushed to, then you will undoubtedly be able to find inner harmony. There is nothing wrong with helping another person, but you sincerely should at least do it yourself! When a person takes on a burden not on the stretch, he often "breaks" under its weight. Don't condemn yourself to this! Remember that only by filling your life, you can help someone else, but if this is not there, then you yourself need help. Soberly assess your capabilities.
Learn to smile every day
In every day you can find a reason to smile if you really want it. A person who has decided to become an optimist is undoubtedly able to enjoy the warm weather outside the window, successfully prepared coffee, delicious cake, a purring cat, flowering trees, soft white snow, and so on. Learn to notice the beauty around you, and you will have many reasons to smile.
Learn to forget everything bad and let go of the past.
Unfortunately, many of us are trapped in the past. Even if everything is fine now, we remember the moments that once hurt us, and we cannot fully enjoy the joys that life gives us today. Subsequently, most often, they understood how stupid they were, not appreciating true happiness, swarming in the events of bygone days. Do not let this insight come years later! Let go of the burdens of the past right now and start paying attention to what is happening in your life in the present moment. What methods can be used for this?
Thanks for the lesson
No matter how difficult your past is, if you still cannot part with it, then most likely it has taught you some kind of lesson. Realize that this is exactly what he was meant to do – to give you wisdom that you will be able to use one day in the future. Nothing happens by chance, so the only thing you can do when letting go of a situation is to thank it for teaching you something, which it certainly did.
Learn to be happy for other people
When we begin to sincerely rejoice for other people, luck comes to us too. It is not known how this "boomerang" works, but it really is! A person who lives in envy and disapproval is so immersed in these emotions that he simply misses those moments of joy that fate is trying to give him.
It is very important to learn to notice and appreciate what we have today, and not to concentrate on something completely extraneous - someone else's or the past. So, how to learn to notice all the amenities that life surrounds us with. Many have heard more than once about how useful it is, at times, to “turn off” from problems and direct your consciousness in a completely different direction. Often we just smile when we hear such advice, retorting that there is simply no time to implement all these techniques. Of course, this is our main mistake - there is always time, we just set our priorities wrong.
Learn to switch
Each person, if desired, will be able to "switch" one event to another. As already emphasized, this will only happen when there is a real desire! To make your own life easier, first of all, you should think about how you build your “internal dialogue”. Avoid pessimism in your thoughts, consciously set yourself up for an optimistic mood, cheer when necessary and reassure. Don't beat yourself up if something doesn't work!
Learn to be grateful
Often, we truly begin to appreciate what we had only when we lose it. Don't let this happen to you! Sometimes, we ignore close people, not thinking that one day they will stop communicating with us and they simply will not be around. However, if this still happens, we reconsider our attitude towards them, and begin to regret some of our deeds. It is up to you to avoid these regrets. Learn to thank dear people in word and deed for the fact that they are present in your life.
Grow, don't stand still
If it seems to you that life does not please you with truly pleasant and happy moments, then take this task upon yourself! Be the master of your destiny, and do not wait for gifts from outside - achieve what you want. When you start developing in one direction or another, changes will undoubtedly be made in your life, and it is in your power to make these changes positive. So, in what directions can you develop, so that in the end it will turn into positive results for you?
Sport
Find time to exercise. Even if some of its types are contraindicated for you, this does not mean at all that absolutely everything is prohibited. Surely, there are such disciplines in which you could develop. What will you end up with? If you take building your bodies really seriously, then in a fairly short time you will at least see an improvement in your appearance. Agree that this cannot but be a reason to cheer up. You will also be able to make new acquaintances or simply increase your level of knowledge in a direction in which you were not strong before. Also, do not forget that not only external transformations await you, but also “internal ones”. Simply put, if you do everything right, as experts advise, then, for sure, this will add to your health, which is never superfluous.
Hobby
Of course, a hobby can be not only sports - you can find many other activities that will have a positive effect on your development, and therefore bring you new pods for joy. Think about what you would really like to do, and do not leave these plans until the end. If already now you show interest in what you
If you like it, it is possible that in a year, in parallel with your main occupation, you will be a skilled photographer, a talented programmer, an extraordinary artist, an active snowboarder, an experienced traveler, or anyone else! Many people think that the question: "Who do I want to be?" it is important to ask yourself in your school years, and in your youth to bring these ideas to life. Often this is not the case at all! Ask yourself this question right now, and make a determined effort to get closer to your goal. Do not deprive yourself of the chance to live the way you want.
Are you worried that someone is talking shit about you? Do your friends approve of your actions? Have you started avoiding conflict? Have you become a spineless nonentity? Well, it's time for you to learn how to score on everything.
I have to confess something.
I've spent almost my entire life - 31 years - worrying too much about offending anyone, wondering if I'm good enough to connect with other people, and asking myself what those same people think of me.
And you know what? I'm over it. It's stupid and it's clearly not good for me. All this turned me into a punching bag - a twitchy, always worried wreck. Moreover, it turned me into someone who is not ready to have his own convictions. The one who always remains in the middle, not daring to accept any of the opinions, so that, God forbid, not to offend anyone. Well, everything. It won't happen again. Not today.
Today, ladies and gentlemen, things will be very different.
We're talking about medicine. About what we need, like air. Let's talk about truth.
Are you worried that someone is talking shit about you? Do your friends approve of your actions? Have you started avoiding conflict? Have you become a spineless nonentity?
Well, it's time for you to learn how to score on everything.
FACT NUMBER 1. People are constantly evaluating you.
Yes, yes, and right now - too. Some people don't like you at all, and you know what? You can't do anything about it. No matter how you convince them, don’t suck up to them and don’t adapt to their interests. In fact, the opposite approach is more likely to work here - the more firmly you stand your ground, the more they will respect you - even if reluctantly.
People really respect those who know how to draw a line and tell everyone around: "Don't cross it, otherwise it will be bad." Some people may not like this, but so what? They probably wouldn't like you anyway, so why try to please people who don't really care about you?
Like this. But besides ordinary people, there are also trolls from the Internet. And this is a completely different calico.
It's pretty easy to bully ordinary people - even if they say all sorts of nasty things about you behind your back, you still won't hear it, so why bother? But in the world wide web of the Internet, everything is completely different - you see these nasty things. Moreover, they can affect you, because those who tell them know that you have your fads, you can be funny in some things, and so on. But the main problem with Internet Haters Anonymous is that they awaken your inner paranoid, who secretly thinks that everyone hates you.
Fortunately, this is not really the case. The truth is that most people don't even care that you exist. Accept this truth, my friends, for it is liberating. The world is huge, and you are just a grain of sand in it, and therefore you can do whatever you want, and send those who don’t like it to hell.
FACT NUMBER 2. You don't need everyone to love you.
Yes, I know this idea may seem crazy at first glance, but it's actually really cool and easy to get used to. By the way, here’s another one for you: although most people don’t even know about your existence, and some people pretend to be a judge who evaluates your every action – do you really care?
You may not have realized how liberating this thought is, but you will certainly understand. Well, for example, from this - you know what happens when someone doesn't love you? Absolutely nothing. The world does not end its existence. Your haters don't stand behind you with axes. In general, the more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better for you.
Have you heard the proverb “The best revenge is a happy life”? In general, it is true, but it is only part of the whole. Yes, a happy life is great, but is it possible to live a happy life, constantly thinking about ill-wishers and their black thoughts. Just do what you want and move on with your life.
In general, in order to live a happy life, at first you simply need to score a lot. Without this, nothing will come of it. That's why you should start doing it right now.
FACT NUMBER 3. Only those people who care are important.
So, we have accepted the fact that most people do not even know about your existence, and your ill-wishers, in fact, are few, and you can just score on them. Super. And now you have to understand that people who care, people for whom you are very important, are the only ones worth paying attention to.
Strange thing - personal relationships. As soon as we have them (be it family, spouse, close friends, and so on), we very quickly begin to take these people for granted, and instead of devoting time to them, we begin to fluff our tail in front of strangers - for example, the boss. And then, when we do succeed in impressing him, we begin to take this relationship for granted, and this cycle continues endlessly - an endless cycle of apathy. It seems that we always prefer to impress and charm something new rather than taking care of what we already have.
But these people are probably the best you have. They understand you, understand your mission and your aspirations. Next to them you feel better than anywhere else, you can grieve with them, laugh, or just be yourself. They help you to relax, to remember that there are still those in the world who care. They are very important to you. So pay attention to them.
FACT NUMBER 4. Those who know how to score on everything change the world around them. The rest don't.
I'm here reading a shitty book by Stephen King called The Long Walk. It's about a competition in which people just go forward without sleep and stop, and if they stop, they are simply killed (in general, such crap happens in every book - "It's a clown, but it kills!", "It's a car, but it kills!", and so on)
I think the plot of this book is sort of a metaphor for war, but it also captures the very essence of perseverance very well. To leave something behind and move forward, you just need to understand that the obstacle that has stood in your way is not so terrible, and it is quite possible to overcome it. And this truth never changes - whether you run a marathon or want to fly to Mars.
If you get rid of unimportant things and things, if you put it all out of your mind and focus on what really needs to be done, if you understand that your time is limited and get to work right here and now - only then will you be able to cross the finish line. hell. Otherwise, you will have to live in a life that, in general, is not even interesting to you.
Note: Learn to be more comfortable with mistakes and obscurity. Yes, right now you can experience not the best streak in your life, feel lonely, or even a loser. We have all been in a similar position. However, it's time for you to learn that these feelings are quite common, and that even the most successful and happiest people in the world have experienced them. They were able to overcome them - and you can too.
All-seeing eye
Do you want to know something? It doesn't apply to other people at all. This only applies to you.
I recently had a chance to chat with Jonathan Fields about the permissibility of using swear words (and generally "proper names for certain things") in blogs. We talked via Skype, and I noticed the moment when he wanted to swear, but stopped in time. It looked amazing. So I asked him: “You felt it too, didn’t you?”
Each of us has an internal censor's eye. It never closes and is always watching over us. It has been slowly and painstakingly created in our minds by society, family and friends, and she is constantly monitoring our behavior. If you have been with him for a long time, most likely you have already begun to believe that this eye is you, and that you are just a “polite person”. Well, or somehow tried to explain it.
But that eye is not you at all. It is a prison, a cell in which you sit completely voluntarily. Its walls are strong because you made them so.
But do you know what its charm is? Yes, in that it cannot do anything to you, even if it wants to. It's just an eye. It can only look. And you can do it, and only you.
So - how to regain self-esteem in five simple steps.
STEP 1. Do something that confuses you.
My girlfriend and I walk a lot, so we bought ourselves a pair of Vibram Fivefingers. Have you seen them at all? They are very good for your knees, and you definitely won't get calluses in them, but they look absolutely ugly. Yesterday I wore them under a suit with a bow tie, which I usually wear at Easter. And he looked like a complete lunatic.
As I wrote at the beginning of this article, other people's judgmental views and words can pretty upset me - yes, this upsets many, but not everyone admits it. But when I walked through the city in my clown outfit, no one even looked at me. Everyone didn't care, and if someone looked at me with a surprised look, he just walked on. And after a couple of minutes, most likely, he completely forgot about me.
Try it - it won't cost you anything. Find your inner filters and break them down, one by one. See how society, like the ocean, smooths out all the waves you make, floundering in it until what you do is completely erased from its memory or becomes acceptable. So get to work!
STEP 2. Accept your awkwardness - or do something about it.
It's a well-known fact that often interviewers get their best material by simply sitting silently and letting the silence squeeze the words they want out of a politician or celebrity.
Yes, silence can make you nervous. Personally, it still annoys me. But I'm working on it, and now I know that it's better to be silent than to try to fill the silence with chatter. However, this is just one kind of awkwardness, and this kind is quite easy to get used to, or else overcome it.
Another kind of social awkwardness is when you do something wrong (or someone does something nasty to you), but you don't find the strength to say it. Life taught me a couple of serious lessons related to this, from which I learned that it is better to tell the unpleasant truth than to try to avoid this conversation altogether.
I was told that Clinton's rule for earning political respect was: if someone pushes you, push them back twice as hard. It's clear and understandable, it's not passive resistance, and it gives you self-confidence. It's far better than embarrassment. Try it!
STEP 3. Don't let yourself be boxed in.
The video above was filmed in 1970, just after the Liberation Front of Quebec killed Minister Pierre Laporte and his body was stuffed into the trunk of a car. Trudeau's "Just look at me" line has become one of the most famous in Canadian political history. Journalists try to box him in, forcing him to choose on camera between a security-centric police state and a free civil society, but Trudeau refuses to dance to their tune.
Yes, there are no more people like Trudeau in the Liberal Party of Canada, but there is still hope for us. Go where you please. Do not settle for options imposed on you from outside. Don't let people tell you how to live. Also, don't listen to your inner eye.
STEP 4. Tell the truth.
No, you don't need to be a complete ass, but what the world certainly doesn't need is another passive scumbag who constantly avoids conflict. He does not need another little man who does "like everyone else." The status quo does just fine without you, so if you see something you don't like at all, why not say so? What kind of expressions?
And don't try to be a diplomat. To tell the truth is to tell the truth as you understand it, and not to try to sweeten the bitter pill before that.
STEP 5. Start a new life.
It is not for nothing that this step is the last, since you cannot get to it without first going through all the others, but since you are already here, you can calmly begin to explore the new world that has opened up to you - one in which you can do whatever you want, if only it does not harm others for real. Do you want to climb into an old abandoned building? It doesn't matter if you're ready for it (and what comes next). Do you want to be tied up and whipped by a strict "mistress"? No problem, just don't overdo it.
And once you get on this path, you will start to realize with surprise that almost everyone around you is able to understand the strange things that you do. Moreover, it makes you unusual and interesting person, worthy of paying attention to him - and your plans for world domination (if you have them) are just what you need.
But none of this simply can happen until you understand that an invisible eye is watching you, and do not learn how to ignore it. This is one of the most serious acts of self-control that gives you confidence and makes you stronger.
Get your self-respect back. Today. Now. Put on something ugly. Do something stupid. Tell someone the truth.
And hammer, finally, on all unnecessary.
