Emigration and emigrants. Low self-esteem: a variable that can be changed Stress in everyday life

Self-assessment as a way of research. Self-esteem is the process by which people "measure" their abilities, skills and abilities and other qualities. Self-assessment as a method is quite often used as one of the tools for evaluating the performance of an employee. Why is it needed? Is it not management's job to evaluate performance?

Employee self-esteem. Applications of the self-assessment method

Typically, employee self-assessment serves as an aid in the overall process of assessing work performance. For example, first an employee of the company himself evaluates his skills, competencies, his contribution to the overall work of the company and fills out a questionnaire, then the manager evaluates the work of an employee according to the same parameters, gets acquainted with his questionnaire. This is usually followed by a conversation between an employee of the company and the manager, during which they discuss what has converged and what has not, and why. Based on the data obtained, goals and objectives are set, what needs to be done to achieve them is discussed. In some companies, the manager and the employee evaluate his work together, in others, only the self-assessment method is used, and the manager only looks at the result and makes his own corrections.

In addition to monitoring the performance of an employee, the employee self-assessment method is sometimes used even during an interview. This allows the employer to understand how a potential employee sees himself, how he assesses his capabilities, whether the employee’s self-esteem is adequate.

Employee self-assessment and performance

This question is especially important for evaluating the performance of an existing or potential employee. A number of studies have shown that people with adequate self-esteem tend to be the most effective for a company. Less efficient workers, on the contrary, are usually unaware of their shortcomings and have inflated self-esteem. Equally bad is low self-esteem.

People who have an overly high opinion of their work, as a rule, perceive constructive criticism painfully or even aggressively, blaming anyone but themselves for shortcomings. All this complicates teamwork and slows down professional growth such workers simply because they do not see that they have room to grow.

Advantages and disadvantages of the self-assessment method

When an employee is asked to evaluate his work and professional qualities, he feels that his opinion is valued, in addition, self-reflection helps him understand what he should strive for, what goals he has. Also, the results of his self-assessment help the manager to be objective, as he may be new to some aspects that affect the work of the employee. Thus, an employee's self-assessment is a useful tool for monitoring their performance.

Of course, this tool has its drawbacks. Some leaders are afraid that the self-assessment method will reflect badly on their credibility. Employees can noticeably embellish their achievements, believing that this will help them get a promotion. Some of them answer randomly to get left behind, because they are convinced that this is the work of the authorities.

Online surveys to the rescue!

In such cases, online surveys can help. Firstly, it is fast and convenient, freeing you from the tedious filling of paperwork. Secondly, the system allows you to detect "fake" answers. Using the Questionnaire service, you can create a self-assessment sheet and collect the necessary data that will help you more accurately assess the performance of employees.

As for the question of the authority of the leader, psychologists and sociologists recommend using the self-assessment method exclusively in combination with other methods. Employees can discuss the results of the survey both with superiors and with each other. This approach will help reduce the social distance between the boss and subordinates, create an atmosphere of trust in the team.

A person is a part of society, and the attitude of others, assessment of his qualities, attractiveness is important for him. But no less important for us is self-esteem, the attitude towards oneself, which is formed in a person throughout his life. The place in society that we occupy, and the degree of social activity largely depend on the level of our own assessment of our merits and demerits.

In psychology, self-esteem is considered as a complex of a person's ideas about himself, which were formed on the basis of comparing himself with others. These representations play an important role in shaping the image of one's own "I" or.

Consciously or unconsciously, we always compare ourselves with others and evaluate ourselves from the position of “better”, “worse” or “the same as everyone else”. First of all, important, significant qualities for society are evaluated. For example, for a young man of the nobility in the first quarter of the 19th century, it was normal to talk about whether he dances a mazurka better or worse than Lieutenant Rzhevsky. And for a modern person, this quality does not matter, and therefore is not appreciated.

Thus, self-esteem is based on socially significant values, without which it is impossible to realize oneself worthy of respect in a given society and at a given time.

It is clear that you can evaluate yourself in different ways, all the more there are situations when we are satisfied with ourselves and like ourselves, and at other times some act makes us experience acute dissatisfaction, and we are engaged in self-flagellation. But self-esteem as a part of the personality is a stable formation, although it can change, it does not depend on the situational attitude towards oneself. On the contrary, self-assessment corrects this attitude:

A person with a high opinion of himself will say: “How could I do this, this is completely uncharacteristic for me,” and will try to forget about the oversight.
And the one who has low self-esteem, on the contrary, focuses on his mistakes, will reproach himself for them for a long time, will think that “he is a crooked loser in life who doesn’t really know how to do anything.”

Types and levels of self-esteem

In psychology, there are two types of self-esteem: adequate and inadequate. Sometimes they also talk about optimal and suboptimal self-esteem, thereby emphasizing that many people tend to rate themselves slightly above average, and this is more of a norm than a deviation. Another thing is how highly we value ourselves.

Adequate self-esteem

Adequate self-esteem to one degree or another correctly reflects the abilities and qualities of the individual, that is, this is a person's idea of himself, which corresponds to the real state of things. Such representations can be both with a + sign and with a − sign, because people are not perfect. For example, when a person says that a bear stepped on his ear, this may not be a belittling of his own abilities in music, but their adequate assessment.

Self-esteem affects all human behavior and attitudes towards oneself and towards other people. So, with adequate self-esteem, an individual:

correctly assesses the balance of their desires and abilities;
sets realistic goals that they are able to achieve;
able to critically look at himself from the outside;
tries to anticipate the results of his actions.

In general, for a person with adequate self-esteem, the people around him are important. But he also evaluates their opinion adequately, focusing more on his own ideas about the benefits or harms of his actions.

Inadequate self-esteem

Inadequate self-esteem is of two types: low and high. The degree of inadequacy comes in different levels. Self-assessments of a level slightly above or slightly below average are a fairly common phenomenon, and they almost do not manifest themselves in the behavior of an individual, do not prevent him from living and interacting with others. To determine the deviation in this case is possible only with the help of special psychological tests. And self-esteem slightly above average does not even need to be corrected, since a person can quite deservedly respect and appreciate himself, and self-respect has never bothered anyone.

But it happens (and often) that self-esteem is far from optimal and significantly above or below the average level. In this case, it has a serious impact on a person's actions and can lead to inappropriate behavior with others.

Individual characteristics of people with high self-esteem

People with overly high self-esteem can be quickly noticed in any team - they strive to be in the public eye, advise everyone, lead everyone and dominate everywhere. Such people are characterized by the following features:

they overestimate their capabilities and their importance;
they do not perceive criticism, and they are annoyed by someone else's opinion that does not coincide with their own;
often have a superiority complex, considering themselves right in everything;
emphatically independent and even arrogant;
reject the help and support of others;
they blame other people or circumstances for their failures and problems;
do not notice their weaknesses or pass them off as strengths, for example, stubbornness for perseverance, and arrogance for determination;
often differ in a demonstrative type of behavior, they like to perform deeds for show;
tend to be disrespectful towards others.

There is an opinion that it is better to have an overestimated self-esteem than an underestimated one. But it all depends on the level - people who value themselves too highly can be very unpleasant.

Low self-esteem

People with a level of self-esteem significantly below the average are not always immediately noticeable, especially in a team. They do not seek to be seen and seem simply modest. But in the process of communicating with them, their far from the most pleasant qualities are revealed:

indecision and excessive caution;
dependence on the opinions of other people and the constant need for their support;
the desire to shift responsibility, including for their actions, onto the shoulders of others;
inferiority complex and, as a consequence, excessive vulnerability, quarrelsomeness;
excessive demands on oneself and others, perfectionism;
pettiness, vindictiveness and envy;
suffering from low self-esteem, they nevertheless try to prove to everyone their "toughness" and commit inadequate actions.

Low self-esteem also makes people selfish, only this is a different kind of selfishness. They are so immersed in their failures and obsessed with self-pity that they do not notice the problems of their loved ones. Very often, those who have too low a level of self-esteem do not know how to respect or love.

Structure of self-assessment

In the structure of self-esteem, psychologists distinguish two components: cognitive and emotional:

The cognitive component (from the Latin cognition - knowledge) includes a person's knowledge about himself, his abilities, skills, capabilities, strengths and weaknesses. This component is formed in the process of self-knowledge and largely affects the level of self-esteem. Inadequate self-esteem, as a rule, is associated either with ideas about one's own "I" that do not correspond to reality, or with their lack of formation.
The emotional component is the attitude of the individual towards himself and various manifestations of his own personality. that we feel for ourselves are very contradictory: approval and disapproval, self-esteem or lack of it,.

The differences between these two components are purely theoretical, in real life they coexist in an inseparable unity - our knowledge of our qualities is always emotionally colored.

Factors affecting the formation of self-esteem

Inadequate self-esteem is always bad, it creates discomfort and problems for both the person himself and his environment. But can the individual be blamed for a misconception of himself? What influences self-esteem?

Social factors

The foundations of self-esteem are laid in childhood, from the moment when the baby is aware of his "I" and begins to compare himself with other children and adults. But in preschool, and even at primary school age, children still cannot adequately analyze their qualities and their behavior, so the evaluation sphere is formed completely under the influence of adults. Remember how V. Mayakovsky: “The baby son came to his father, and the baby asked: - What is good? And what is bad?

People with a sensitive psyche are more worried about their failures and because of the assessments of others than less emotional ones.

A person who is dominated by the features of a melancholic tends to get upset even because of a slight accidental remark and remember it for a long time.
The phlegmatic may not even pay attention to the remark.
Closed, unsociable, because of the assessments of others, they experience less than sociable extroverts. On the other hand, due to their propensity for demonstrative behavior, they often suffer from inflated self-esteem. But people who avoid people, who prefer loneliness, often consider themselves superior to others, despise those around them who are unworthy of communicating with them.

That is, the individual characteristics of the individual, of course, affect the formation of self-esteem, but the vector of it is set primarily by the social environment. There is another important factor associated with a person's assessment of his own "I".

Claim level

We all strive for something in life, set goals for ourselves. And these goals are different: someone wants to earn money for a new apartment, someone wants to create their own prosperous company, and for someone a trip to the sea is the ultimate dream. The degree of complexity, the difficulty of the goal or task that a person defines for himself, is the level of his claims.

As well as self-esteem, the level of claims can be adequate or inadequate. Adequate is one where the goals correspond to the capabilities of a person. If a school graduate with poor knowledge and low grades in the Unified State Exam decides to apply to a prestigious university in the capital, then he has a clearly inadequate, overestimated level of claims. And when a good student refuses to go to higher educational institution because he is afraid to fail, then his level of claims is too low. Both of these are bad.

The level of claims is formed under the influence of successes and failures that accompany a person on the path of life, and, in turn, affects the formation of self-esteem. After all, an athlete, constantly setting himself a bar over which he will not be able to jump, will very quickly be disappointed in his abilities and in the opportunity to succeed. Yes, and an underestimated level of claims does not contribute to the development of self-esteem and self-confidence.

But psychologists still believe that a low level is worse than a high one and has a bad effect on the formation of a personality and its position in society. It makes a person a socially passive loser, not striving for success.

Self-Esteem Correction

The possibility of changing their self-esteem towards a more adequate one excites many people. This is especially true for mature and seemingly accomplished individuals, when a person realizes that an incorrect assessment of his strengths and capabilities prevents him from achieving success and has a bad effect on relationships with others.

Self-esteem can be corrected even on its own, although in especially neglected cases, the help of a psychotherapist or a counseling psychologist is required. But it’s easier to increase self-esteem than to reduce an inadequately high one. More precisely, there are conditions under which self-esteem decreases, but most often they are unpleasant and even.

If the individual realized that he had an inadequately high self-esteem, then he was able to look at himself critically, and therefore, his self-esteem is not that high. In any case, he is already on the right track.

There are many tips for boosting self-esteem. But first you need to figure out in which area you underestimate yourself. What do you no longer like about yourself or what do you lack to increase your self-esteem? Write out on a separate sheet in a column the main areas in which a person is realized:

relationships with people;
professional activity (or choice of profession);
appearance;
knowledge level, ;
hobbies;
a family.

You can add something important for you. Now rate your success in these areas on a 10-point scale. If the scores are slightly higher than 5 points, then your self-esteem is within the normal range, but you can increase it. And if it is significantly lower than 5, then special attention should be paid to this area.

Think about why you think you are not successful in this area? And what do you lack to feel more confident, start to respect yourself and even admire? Write down on a separate sheet what you need. And start working on eliminating these shortcomings.

As you can see, nothing complicated. And if you would like a “magic pill” or a ready-made recipe, there are none. People are all different, our problems are also different. But there are some general tips to improve self-esteem:

Stop comparing yourself to others. Remember, each person is unique, not better or worse, just different. And your advantage is that you are different from others.
Look around and try to see all the best and brightest. Stop, fix this feeling in your head and try not to allow any more negative thoughts - they attract failure.
Starting any business, focus on success, defeat comes to those who are waiting for it.
Smile. A smile is a powerful tool that sets our state to positive. But it is no less important that it sets the people around us to a higher appreciation of us.
Write down all your virtues on a piece of paper and re-read them often, especially when you feel insecure and fear of failure.
Be more open. Feel free to reach out to people for help and support.

To increase self-esteem, the approval and praise of others is very important. Therefore, find yourself a hobby or hobbies in which you can succeed, and do not hesitate to demonstrate these successes. Draw, knit, cross-stitch, collect pictures from plastic corks or photograph unusual clouds. And share your successes, seek praise. Now with the development of communication in social networks, this is not difficult to do.

/ / in / from Dusha64

"Every soul comes into the physical world with the intention of resolving issues of self-worth." Paul Ferrini
Where is the line between adequate and inadequate self-esteem, between low and high, and who determines these categories?

If we start from the definition of self-esteem as a vector (core, foundation) of a personality that plays a role in choosing actions and making decisions, in thinking, then the adequacy of self-esteem can determine how successfully a person copes with life independently and with participation in interpersonal relationships.

It is generally accepted that low self-esteem is more harmful than high self-esteem.
At first glance, it seems that those who have a high opinion of themselves, who have little regard for the feelings of others, have more successfully adapted to society: they can go “over their heads”, achieve goals without taking into account the interests of others.

Self-esteem, until it becomes stable, “floats” all the time: either I consider myself a queen, or I consider myself a nonentity. The difference is that one is more KING and the other is NOTHING.

The essence remains the same: such a self-assessment prevents more or less objective assessment of oneself, events, and life in general.

Self-esteem affects the choice of a partner as much as other choices.
As a rule, couples arise more often simply out of sympathy (at least at the first stage) and it seems that mutual sympathy is the basis for the emergence of relationships.

But if you look deeper, then everything is not as simple as it seems at first glance.

Unconsciously, the choice is made not out of sympathy, but according to the possibility of complementarity: any organism or system strives for homeostasis, and such mutual complementarity helps to maintain balance.

From this we can conclude that a person who doubts himself, who is afraid to act, will be drawn to a person who has no problems with this.

And vice versa, the one who does not want to wait, the most active one, finds a partner who is more passive and without initiative.

Then it turns out that as long as a person has inadequate self-esteem (underestimated - overestimated), then problems, conflicts and dissatisfaction with oneself and others are inevitable?

I think it is.

Consider examples:

1. A shy, insecure girl met a cheerful and sociable young man. They communicate, but the initiative comes, of course, from the young man, since his energy needs an outlet. She takes a passive position and only tacitly agrees to everything that he offers her.
Because she is not confident in herself, she is afraid of losing him, afraid to disagree, afraid to take responsibility ...

Will such a couple be satisfied with the relationship? At least she is - most likely not, because she hides all her feelings, tension grows, and insecurity only strengthens, because. inaction is detrimental to self-esteem.

2. An enterprising and active girl most often chooses a quiet and shy guy. And here the opposite is true: she makes decisions, she leads, she chooses, she proposes, and so on. He passively agrees.

For the time being, for the time being, they somehow find a common language, but in the future (if they form a family), most often such a girl will turn into a wife-commander, and a young man will turn into a depressive (often with various addictions) husband, to whom nothing is interesting and nothing no need.

It turns out that you need to start with yourself, with work on self-esteem, so that both the self-attitude and the attitude towards others, the world change, the attitude changes - then you can choose a partner as an equal, and not as compensating for flaws.

What does work on self-esteem give?

1. Internal stability appears (does not throw from one extreme to another);
2. Self-esteem grows;
3. Fear of loneliness does not take precedence over the mind;
4. There is an opportunity to choose communication according to interests, desire;
5. The fear of saying "No" disappears;
6. The fear of rejection disappears (the feeling that no one needs you);
7. Internal balance appears;
8. There is confidence in the future;
9. Freedom of choice, since a person decides for himself;
10. Guilt has no power;
11. Lack of manipulation (only insecure people can be manipulated);
12. Improves the quality of life;
13. New horizons and opportunities open up, as a person begins to think in a different way;
14. Increases vital energy;
15. Feeling of openness to the world and the world, trust;
16. More joy and happiness;
17. More love for yourself and others.

And you can still find a lot - a lot of pluses, if you change your attitude towards yourself.

There are many factors on which a person's self-esteem depends, and not all of them are perceived correctly, which, one way or another, distorts the correctness of self-esteem. Meanwhile, its adequacy is a condition of a healthy personality.

A One of the students of the Buddhist philosophical school of Zen constantly asked the teacher to evaluate him, but did not receive any answer. Moreover, the teacher repeatedly delayed the transfer of the student to the next class. The student asked more and more insistently: Finally, tell me, mentor, what am I - good or bad? But the teacher remained silent.

Finally, the enraged student came to the teacher and shouted: You know, mentor, I'm no longer interested in your opinion about whether I'm bad or good!

Now I can move you to the next class,” the teacher replied. - You realized that you don't need others to answer your question. You know better than anyone what you are.

I wonder how many years it took the poor student to make sure that he himself understands himself best of all.

From the introduction to the previous lesson, you remember that self-esteem is an integral component of self-awareness.

Let us now dwell on the differences between the concepts of self-acceptance and self-esteem. I'll tell you two good fables, and everything will become clear and understandable.

О What do you need more for life: bread or salt? - What a stupid question! I need both.

Who loves you more: dad or mom? (This question, as old as the world, angered more than one kid. And it is not known why it is repeated again and again, although the world seems to be moving forward) - Both of them love me, but each in their own way, and this is necessary for me to develop and normal life.

The same is the case with self-acceptance (bread, mother, selfless love) and self-esteem (salt, father, love with certain requirements, with tasks to complete, pride and defeat).

Self-assessment is a report card with marks given to oneself. (The image of a 100% male or an excellent student comes to mind.) Self-assessments as an element of self-knowledge are a kind of evaluative judgments. They relate to various characteristics of a person, such as:

Physical properties (appearance, health, agility);

Personality traits (creativity, emotional maturity, needs);

Relations with other people (position in the family, social status in other groups, general social attractiveness).

The results of psychological research have shown that the process of forming self-esteem includes several stages. Let's consider them on the example of the formation of self-esteem of such a trait as criticality.

1. After analyzing this trait, you are likely to divide it into several categories. Perhaps these will be only two categories: critical - non-critical, or maybe you will single out as many as five gradations: naive, gullible, critical, critic, negativist.

2. The next phase of self-esteem formation consists in evaluating the specified feature:

a) some traits are evaluated linear method: in this case, their significance is directly proportional to the intensity, that is, with the strengthening of this trait, its value also increases (this applies, for example, to mental development, organizational abilities, physical and social attractiveness);

b) another method is averaging, when the average intensity of the feature is considered as more significant than the extreme intensity. This method is good for assessing traits such as height, weight, thrift.

The degree of significance of a certain trait is purely individual. The same trait can be judged differently by different people.

3. At the third stage, a person formulates a final self-assessment, naming certain traits and determining their level of development and subjective significance. For example, a person who says about himself that he is moderately critical will evaluate this positively if he used the averaging method (where just the average value of a property is valued higher).

Let's take another example of this process.

A teenager tells us that he is 180 cm tall. This is an element of self-description, not an indicator of self-esteem. It's only when a guy claims he's too tall, and it upsets him, that he evaluates himself. Think about how often we take descriptive characteristics as part of self-esteem and evaluate them ourselves (often through projection, that is, in accordance with the protective mechanism of transferring onto other own unacceptable traits, properties and emotional states). For example, our neighbor tells us that while on vacation he walked 12 kilometers and was very tired, and we do not know if he is proud of himself or not satisfied We rate him as strong or weak depending on our beliefs, personal experience, own physical condition. And he himself?

What are our self-esteem? As psychologists note, they can have a light or dark color. Depending on the quality, positive and negative self-esteem is distinguished, and according to the level - high, medium and low.

I hope this information is not difficult, you will easily understand it and remember it.

What factors influence the level and quality of self-esteem? First, self-esteem depends on the socioeconomic status and marital status of a person. When evaluating ourselves, we also take into account the results of our own actions, comparing them with those planned, as well as with the achievements of other people. A person who wins has a higher self-esteem than one whose actions end in failure.

Of course, self-esteem depends on the opinions and assessments of a person by other people. It does not matter whether these assessments are expressed in a non-specific form (compliment of a friend) or are strictly differentiated (school scores, examination marks); whether they are reliable or doubtful; come from one or more sources of information. Paradoxical as it may seem, but the assessments of various people matter to us: well-known and first comers, smart and not very, cultured and ill-mannered, rude and refined. And pretending that we are not at all interested in someone else's opinion, we are trying to deceive not only those around us, but above all ourselves.

I have a great quote for you.

The curse of mankind is that our existence in this world does not tolerate any established hierarchy, that everything flows, shimmers, moves, and everyone must be felt and appreciated by everyone, and understanding you - dark, limited, stupid - is no less important for me, than to understand smart, bright and thin. For a person is deeply dependent on his reflection in the soul of another person, even if it is the soul of a cretin (W. Gombrowicz, Ferdydurk's novel).

In this process, emotions, the desire for self-defense, the desire to gain public approval play a significant role. This has already been discussed in the previous magazine.

The results of a study of self-esteem conducted among students of one of the Western colleges are interesting. Students had to evaluate: the level of their mental development, the degree of preparedness for the upcoming exam and resistance to stress. None of the 127 participants rated their IQ as below the group average, while other traits scored more realistically. Naturally, there is doubt about the existence of such a large group, all members of which would have mental development above the average level. Here, the desire for social recognition and the protection of one's own self were clearly manifested.

Apart from general question: What am I?, people evaluate individual traits inherent in them, and also ask the question: What would I like to be?

In this way they define their desires, aspirations and personal ambitions. They manifest personal standards, that is, the states, properties, qualities that they would like to achieve.

The totality of such internal standards relating to oneself is defined in psychology as the ideal self.

How are our standards manifested? For each considered and assessed quality, we form a descriptive judgment and its assessment, correlated with our beliefs and norms. For example, you own two foreign languages(descriptive judgment) and evaluate this knowledge as insufficient (self-assessment). At the same time, your ideal standard is to speak four languages, and a sufficient one is a good knowledge of two languages.

And what is your position in such problems: what do you strive for as an ideal, and what suits you perfectly? Maybe you should talk about it with the Companion?

The desired level of our standards is more important to us than the actual results achieved.

In other words, the significance of our aspirations is often higher than the significance of our self-assessments. However, in certain circumstances they may overlap.

In such cases, a person seeks to preserve what has been achieved, to maintain the existing self-image.

Why do you think this is happening? Try to give an example that illustrates this phenomenon. For me, such an example is the desire of an aging person to maintain the former flexibility of the mind and body. Discuss this topic with your Travel Companion.

It is important to see the difference between the questions:

What would I like to be? is a matter of standards;

What could I be? - this is a question about the possibilities that are part of self-assessments and self-description;

What do others expect from me? is a matter of other people's expectations. It's time for a practical exercise.

EXERCISE 1. Compare your grades

Choose at least 7 traits, skills, or attributes that you consider important to your current existence. Try to keep them diverse and related to different areas (for example: work, family life, hobbies). Then carefully complete the following table:

Standard

What would I like to be?

Possibility

What could I be?

expectations

What should I be from the point of view of others?

Pay attention both to the features, the descriptions of which are almost the same in different columns, and those that have significant differences. I wonder what traits - positive or negative - are evaluated equally in all categories? What does this mean for you?

The coincidence of assessments in various categories causes passivity, significant discrepancies also do not contribute to our active actions. The most stimulating to change is a small discrepancy. It gives hope that changing the status quo is possible for us.

I invite you to reflections and conversations, as detailed and creative as possible.

Personal standards are not always present in our minds. Their content depends on the family environment in which we grew up, on the socio-economic status of our environment, on the individual characteristics of the psyche - the type of personality, on the cultural traditions of our social group. For example, the aspirations of people with mental disorders, compared with healthy people, are fickle and fragmented. The personal standards of the Japanese are amazingly complex and rich compared to Europeans, and the structure of their ideal self is more developed than the real self.

We create an image of ourselves by collecting certain information and combining it accordingly. Do we understand how this process proceeds? Perhaps yes. At least partially.

1 I have always been told that I am the ugliest child in the family. Perhaps there was some truth in this, because I was different from others. My parents said that I was completely unsuccessful. All this led to the fact that I was afraid of myself. When I went outside, my knees trembled.

(A nice gift from mommy and daddy, isn't it? A rich dowry for a long and happy life!)

What can you remember about the earliest external evaluations you received?

EXERCISE 2. Check the status of your bank account Life

Take care of your favorable emotional state. Provide yourself with external comfort: silence, peace, a sufficient amount of free time. Remember your childhood, important people of that period for you, parents, grandparents, other relatives, maybe neighbors.

Try to revive as many specific memories as possible about how you were evaluated, what properties (and to what extent) were attributed to you, what opinions were expressed about you. Recall both good and bad experiences. Revive everything: sights, sounds, accompanying experiences, tastes and smells.

Compare what you can remember. Congratulate yourself (and I congratulate you) that you are coping so well with life's problems, having such a sum of external evaluations on your life account. Think about how quick we are to give negative ratings to defenseless babies and what a wonderful capital those first positive ratings become. They are a source of vitality, joy and optimism.

I ask you for the same thing as always: for a good conversation and concern for your well-being at the end of this exercise. People are often aware of how their self-esteem and standards are formed. This happens in the process of self-observation, analysis and comparison, as well as taking into account the opinions of people important to them.

Having a variety of data, we must somehow group them in order to be able to use it. There are three general strategies for grouping information about yourself:

1) linear, consisting in the summation of all available information about successes, failures, shortcomings and advantages. Based on the sum of opinions, a general descriptive

judgment; ,

2) conjunctive, in which the individual highly appreciates himself only when all the information is positive. One failure can cause a sharp underestimation of the entire self-esteem. It is used by people with low overall self-esteem;

3) alternative, in this case, high self-esteem occurs if at least one piece of information is positive; self-esteem in this case is determined by the best moments of life. This strategy leads to the formation of inflated self-esteem.

Which of the following strategies do you use for self-assessment? Interesting thoughts on this topic may arise during the next practical exercise.

When reading the text below, write in brackets the numbers from -5 to +5 opposite each described action. The numbers should express the assessment of this episode of your day. Regardless of whether the described situations are close or not to you, try to remain honest in your assessments.

Imagine that you wake up in the morning, not getting enough sleep and angry at yourself for not hearing the alarm (). They did not have time, despite the promises made to themselves during the week, to have breakfast (). You managed to get on the bus on time (). At work, the boss met you with a smile (), and a colleague with an annoyed remark (). The first half of the day was spent in routine, boring activities that you successfully completed (). The lunch break left memories of a pleasant, complimentary conversation with a friend from the neighboring department (). The rest of the work you, according to the boss, performed mediocre (). After talking with him, you found circles under your eyes and a slight trembling in your hands (). A friend said that you were unlucky, and you didn’t get a ticket to a concert at a reduced price (). You managed to arrange a meeting with your friends in the evening (). You have prepared a delicious dinner for yourself and your guests (). Unfortunately, you got into a mess with drinks (). You are happy to show off your well-groomed flowers (). Hear the sarcastic remarks of colleagues about them (). Demonstrate, and successfully, the results of training own dog(). After the guests leave, you feel that there is no more strength left for cleaning (). You try to watch a movie that you don’t understand, although you make an effort (). Although it is still early, you really want to sleep (). Before going to bed, write a few words in your diary and

What is your overall rating for this day?

Think about whether it makes sense to compare such different skills and knowledge? Compare individual scores and the overall result. Which of the above strategies did you use? Do you use it in real life? What did you learn about yourself by doing this exercise? Talk to your Companion about it.

It turns out that people, describing and evaluating the external world, most often use a linear strategy, but rarely realize this. I wonder what strategy they use when evaluating themselves? ..

When you analyze the statements of the same person about himself, it is easy to notice that they differ significantly depending on the circumstances. Under certain conditions, we overestimate our own personality, endowing it with non-existent virtues, exaggerating achievements; in other situations we are more realistic. And in what cases, in your opinion, do we belittle our own Self?

EXERCISE 4. Describe yourself in 7 sentences in a letter to:

life partner;

Priest.

Choose from the three destinations listed. Stick to the set letter size. To describe, choose features and actions that are essential for the addressee.

Curious how you did the job? What recipients did you choose? Why? How are your letters different? How do you present yourself?

The desire for public approval, self-affirmation of a person has a significant impact on the features of the manifestation of his personality, self-presentation. At the same time, he is aware that this will be evaluated by others (compare, for example, self-presentations at meetings with an employer, friend or psychologist).

Self-affirmation - a person's desire for a high assessment and self-esteem of his personality - can occupy both an ordinary and a dominant place in the structure of human needs. Under certain conditions, it can even become unsaturated. This nature of self-affirmation creates a specific orientation of the personality - a purely personal one.

In the process of studying women's representation of their I by various colleagues (with high, medium and low self-esteem), it was revealed that when meeting colleagues with high self-esteem, they overestimated self-esteem, and when communicating with colleagues who rated themselves medium or low, the subjects showed self-criticism pointing out their own shortcomings. Thus, there was a desire to achieve similarity with the person evaluating them!

In striving to achieve similarity, we provide ourselves with a sense of security, counting on a friendly attitude towards us.

Remember that this is not a real similarity, but only the desire for it, associated with the expectation of the assessments of others.

Satisfaction of the need for self-affirmation can be achieved in different ways: by real achievements in any activity or by creating the appearance of achievements, when the subject seeks to seem like the person he would like to be, although in reality he is not.

The method of self-affirmation depends on the nature and content of the claims of the individual, as well as on its capabilities and abilities.

As a rule, a person has more specific personal standards and norms in areas that are significant for him and more accurate ideas about the levels of development of qualities that are important from his point of view. For example, a scientist may have a clear idea of his creativity, which are of the utmost importance in his life, and have difficulty in determining his own external attractiveness or sociability. For billions of years, cells have been connecting and dividing so that such a nasty bastard as

I could say about myself: I (S. Vitkevich Tailors).

I wonder where such an opinion about yourself, such an unpleasant assessment comes from? Perhaps it arose from too great a discrepancy between the system of self-esteem and personal standards?

For a person, as a rule, the traits that he would like to possess are of greater value than those that he already possesses.

Discrepancies in self-esteem and aspirations of a person are quite natural. They are not expressions of contradictions or inconsistencies in personality.

It has been experimentally proven that there are always discrepancies between the real I and the ideal I.

This distance changes throughout our lives, increasing, in particular, between 40 and 50 years. This is due to the summing up of life results, characteristic of people of this age. Please note that changes occur in self-esteem, not in self-acceptance.

Feeling undervalued is rivalry's best friend. As long as I feel inferior, I will demonstrate my competence to everyone and everywhere. Feeling appreciated for who I am, I will not enter into a competition, proving anything, making comparisons with someone (J. Zinker, a famous American psychotherapist).

Let's summarize.

Self-assessment can be:

Partial, when it refers to one feature, field of activity, skill;

General, when it concerns broader areas of activity or the individual as a whole.

In terms of sustainability, self-assessments can be characterized as:

Stable (unchanging for a long time);

Unstable (depending on the specific situation).

In terms of the process of emergence, self-assessments can be divided into:

dependent on the opinions of others;

Independent of external estimates.

Recall that self-assessments are also positive and negative.

The level of self-esteem can be:

High;

Average;

Self-assessments do not always correspond to reality, therefore, they distinguish:

Adequate (corresponding to reality);

Inappropriate (not true).

In turn, inadequate self-esteem is divided into overestimated and underestimated.

Depending on the features of the structure, self-esteem is divided into conflict and conflict-free.

According to the nature of temporal reference, self-assessments are distinguished:

retrospective (related to the past);

Actual (evaluating something in the present tense, at the moment);

Prognostic (directed to the future).

For the development of a personality, such a nature of self-relationship is effective when a sufficiently high general self-esteem is combined with adequate, differentiated partial self-esteems of different levels. Stable and at the same time quite flexible self-assessment (which, if necessary, can change under the influence of new information, gaining experience, assessments of others, changing criteria, etc.)

is optimal both for the development of the individual and for the productivity of her activity.

An excessively stable, rigid (inflexible) self-esteem, as well as a highly fluctuating, unstable one, has a negative effect.

The conflict of self-esteem can be both productive and disorganizing.

The instability and conflict of self-assessments increase during critical periods of personality development, in particular in adolescence.

Self-esteem as an element of self-knowledge is a subjective variable. It is connected with the assessments of others, assessments of the results of one's own activities, as well as with the ratio of one's real and ideal self-image.

The preservation of the formed, habitual self-esteem becomes a need for a person.

EXERCISE 5. What is self-esteem?

Give an example of self-esteem partial, unstable, low and negative at the same time.

And then give an example of global, independent, sustainable, high and adequate self-esteem.

I hope you succeeded! (If necessary, return to the previous lessons.) After this warm-up, fill in the gaps in the proposed text by identifying the types of self-assessments noted above.

Peter describes himself as a genius: (1) Others do not share

his opinions.. (2) However, he considers himself mediocre

tennis player.. (3) although this season he has already reached the final of the tournament.. (4) Comparing himself with his older brother, he changed his mind on this issue.. (5) but, despite the opinions of family members, he considers his mental abilities exceptional.. ..(6)

When women admire him, he finds himself interesting..(7)

while meeting critical and disapproving looks, claims that he is ugly (8) Defines himself as an average chess player

(9) weak swimmer (10)

and mediocre mathematician (11)

How did you like our next exercise? It should develop your fluency in psychological terminology related to self-esteem.

We will return to it in our homework.

Research shows that most people give accurate self-assessments of the results of their performance in practical activities. This is the so-called predictive-accuracy: people are able to accurately predict the success of a certain task.

The adequacy of self-assessment depends on the situation and the features of the trait being analyzed. The more important the assessed trait is for a person, the more information a person has about it and the more adequate his judgments will be (For example, a manager who is well aware of his organizational skills can completely mistakenly evaluate his creative potential and physical perfection)

Less accurately people evaluate personality traits and qualities, in particular - the level of mental development. The fact that some of them give accurate self-assessments indicates that they are able to look at themselves objectively, as one of the objects of knowledge.

However, there are a fairly large number of people with inflated self-esteem. Moreover, this mainly concerns personality traits that are most important for respect and communication with others. These are sincerity, honesty, physical and personal attractiveness, goodwill, level of mental development. Of course, these properties are important for evaluation and self-esteem, but they should not affect the self-acceptance of a person.

One of the reasons for inadequate self-esteem may be a person's sense of his own uniqueness and infallibility, which, thanks to protective mechanisms, creates in him an ideal image of his personality.

Let's look at the quote again:

Everyone does

Admiring emphasizing of any property, boasting about it means acknowledging its absence. It doesn't matter if a person boasts of courage, knowledge, wit, success with women, wealth or origin, we can conclude that it is this

he lacks; it would never occur to someone who really possesses certain virtues to parade them with delight - he is completely calm for them (A. Schopenhauer, Aphorisms of Worldly Wisdom).

This is the kind of peace I want for you.

Far fewer people have low self-esteem. Why are there so few, contrary to popular belief? Who are these people who are not able to appreciate their own intellectual abilities, who see their personality in a distorted mirror? There are many factors that affect low self-esteem, for example:

Too strict, repressive family upbringing;

Low socioeconomic status;

neurotic disorders;

Cultural traditions of a certain social group.

Let us consider in more detail the problem of self-observation. This is an extremely difficult problem, since it is not easy to answer the question: what does it mean to observe accurately, and in particular

See and understand yourself accurately. Not easy, is it?

Accuracy as the ability to foresee actions (predictive - referring to what will happen in the future) does not raise any objections. But accuracy as a coincidence with the opinion of the majority is amazing! It expresses a desire for conformism.

Let me give you an example from one comic.

At the top of the hill lies a group of children watching the clouds. One of them says that he sees in them the silhouette of a church, the second - the figure of George the Victorious on horseback, the third - a portrait of Mona Lisa. When asked until now, the child who has remained silent, he answers to his friends: I saw a duck swimming, but now I don’t see him.

No floating duck is worse than all imaginary churches put together.

Let us have courage, self-respect and self-respect to

confess it to the whole world!

What do you think about the coincidence of our opinion with the assessments of experts in a particular industry? (We all know how inaccurate the diagnoses and forecasts of doctors, educators, weather forecasters can be, so this is most likely a kind of accurate prediction of their inaccurate opinions and their efforts for positive assessments of significant people.)

Is the madman who calls himself a schizophrenic an accurate observer, a trickster or an opportunist? (I think you are familiar with the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?) It is not easy to find good criteria for the accuracy of self-perception. This category is special, subjective and very intimate. But sometimes we would like to know if we are deceiving ourselves.

After all: It is easier to be wise for others than for yourself (La Rochefoucauld).

Where does the feeling of self-worth come from? How is it different from general self-esteem and self-acceptance? Let's consider this in more detail.

General self-esteem consists of a set of assessments that a person sets for himself for individual properties and actions, for achievements and failures. It is formed throughout our lives, depends, as already noted, on the assessments of significant persons and may change.

Imagine a high school diploma, where grades are marked in all - compulsory and optional - subjects. Perhaps there are subjects from which you were exempted or for which you failed to get an attestation? Why do you feel pride and joy, or shame and disappointment? To what do you compare the results of your work?

One is delighted with a three, and the other is not enough even with a four. Of course, these are our standards and ambitions, which have already been discussed. But at the same time, the significance of the assessed quality or field of activity in the system of values plays an important role. For one student, the most important marks are in computer science and physical education, for another - in physics and English. This is how we build the building of our sense of self-worth: we distribute our properties and actions according to their significance,

we correlate our own assessments with the opinions of others and summarize it all together.

Complete a practical exercise that will allow you to reinforce this material.

EXERCISE 6. Analyze your certificate

Imagine that you are a student studying your high school diploma. First, define a list of subjects: please select about ten categories of areas of activity in which you are currently involved. These can be social roles performed by you: son, husband, father, grandson (family); subordinate, leader, employee (professional); reader, spectator, tourist, philatelist, athlete (leisure) In addition to wandering along the roads of the social roles that you play, you can note more specific functions, for example: cook, summer resident, nanny, singer, tailor, lover All these areas of activity will perform in as subjects in your certificate.

Now evaluate in points (from 0 to 10) their performance. Additionally multiply the ratings by the coefficient of importance of this area, and this indicator can range from 1 to 5. After multiplication, summarize the results.

What happened? I wonder how much fun it would give you to give ratings to other people. But then you would not be able to determine the coefficients of importance, since they are purely individual.

If you like, discuss this exercise with a Travel Companion. Perhaps his opinion on individual assessments will be important to you? Perhaps it is worth discussing also the meaning of your coefficients of importance? However, the question arises: how to live with full pleasure and act constructively, if you have not yet managed to achieve a sufficiently high sense of self-importance? One of the methods mentioned in the psychological literature is the possibility of self-exposing. At the same time, supporters of this tool understand that there is nothing more difficult than self-exposing in front of significant persons, whose reactions can only be partially predicted. Hence arises the resistance that makes therapy so difficult for both the healer and the treated. If there is any recipe for learning the art of psychological help - psychotherapy, then this is the art of dealing with the fear that accompanies self-exposing, as well as the art of understanding the verbal and non-verbal language in which a person speaks about his inner experiences.

Genuine self-exposing is both a sign of a healthy personality and the result of its development. Self-exposing is the possibility of being oneself. It, of course, implies courage - the courage of being (S. Jorard, American psychotherapist).

I know people who would rather die than be recognized. And indeed it happens that some die, realizing that they were seen through by others.

Calling self-exposing a sign of a healthy individuality, they mean that someone who has many other properties that testify to a healthy individuality is able to open up to at least one of the people significant to him. Speaking about the fact that self-exposing means gaining a healthy individuality, it is understood that the individual I is formed and develops only in equal communication with the I of other people.

How would you use this information? Perhaps nothing threatens your self-esteem and sense of your own worth? That would be great. But in any case, it will be useful for you to refer to the affirmations known to you from the first magazine (this is also a way to achieve a sense of self-worth), and if you have more effective ways to improve your relationship with yourself, then maybe share them with your Companion?

EXERCISE 7. Love yourself

Please recite the following affirmations aloud, if possible, in the presence of your Travel Companion. If not, read aloud and after each sentence stare at your reflection in a large mirror. Begin:

Love is a positive attitude towards oneself.

Love is the basis not only of your origin, but also of your existence. Love is acceptance of another person with their strengths and weaknesses. Love is a confirmation of an already existing unity.

It is important, however, to understand that you can only accept as much feeling from others as you are willing to give yourself. Often people think so badly of themselves that they don’t even understand what it’s like to love yourself. What does such love mean?

Loving yourself means praising yourself and expressing respect for yourself in words.

To love yourself means to approve of all your actions.

Loving yourself means loving your body and admiring your beauty.

To love yourself means to care for and cherish your body.

Loving yourself means giving yourself what you want with the feeling that you deserve it.

Loving yourself means allowing yourself to win. ,

Loving yourself means allowing others to come to you instead of accepting loneliness

Loving yourself means being guided by your own intuition.

Loving yourself means developing your own principles with a sense of responsibility.

Loving yourself means seeing your own perfection.

Loving yourself means taking credit for everything that happened.

To love yourself is to surround yourself with beauty.

Loving yourself means allowing yourself wealth instead of poverty.

To love yourself means to surround yourself with many friends.

Loving yourself means rewarding yourself and never punishing yourself.

Loving yourself means trusting yourself.

Loving yourself means eating good food and good thoughts.

To love yourself means to surround yourself with people whose presence is pleasant and useful for you.

Loving yourself means getting pleasure from sex.

Loving yourself means forgiving yourself.

Loving yourself means developing your creative endeavors.

Loving yourself means allowing yourself to have fun.

Loving yourself means treating yourself kindly and gently.

To love yourself is to become your own loving parent inwardly.

Loving yourself means transforming all your negative thoughts into affirmations.

I think it is clear what we are talking about: to find love, you do not need to look for it somewhere - it is in ourselves.

First you must hear that you love yourself, and then you will really feel that someone else loves you. It's the most important. And remember: love does not fade away, it is the leading force of all life.

How do you feel now? It would be strange if you equally perceived all the elements of this peculiar prayer to yourself. Each of us has our own biases, including those associated with the special language of affirmations. Some will master this method easily and quickly, while others will be able to use it only in exceptional cases. Someone will be able to accept all affirmations, but for someone, individual formulations will be difficult to reproduce. But if none of the affirmations came to your taste, this is an extremely alarming symptom.

EXERCISE 8. Exercise for falling in love

In conclusion of our today's journey to the Land of Self-Knowledge, I offer you an exercise, which is a kind of training.

Choose good, one might say, exceptional spectators. There must be at least three of them. Ask them to listen carefully to the instructions for this exercise: they should applaud, squeal, shout, express genuine delight in all available ways!

And you will have to very quickly continue unfinished sentences like:

I am proud of myself when

I always trust my

I am inimitable in

I'm doing great

I really like myself

I'm proud of myself when

I'm fantastic at

I didn't disappoint my expectations

It is best to react quickly without thinking. You do not have to explain your high-profile statements, argue enthusiasm, justify praise When you speak, your audience should not ask you about anything, they should just bathe you in a standing ovation!

Do not try to finish quickly, try to hold out for at least three minutes. (Or maybe you will be able to admire yourself even longer?) You will see that in the process of work you will begin to feel positive emotions. When you overcome shame and tension, you will feel the immediate joy of a child. I wish you a whole lot of fun!

It would be good for everyone if the participants could switch roles. Then you will feel closer, more natural and safer with each other.

In parting, I want to quote another deep thought:

A person in the depths of his soul knows only that his knowledge is like a small island in an endless ocean. The question is, what does he love more - a small island of his so-called knowledge or a sea of endless mystery? (K. Rachner)

I wish you success! See you!

Homework 1 2

Choose the correct answer from the given options.

1. With age, the discrepancy between the real and ideal self:

a) are decreasing

b) increase;

c) remain unchanged.

2. What kind of self-esteem does a strict, repressive upbringing lead to?

a) Adequate.

b) underestimated.

c) too high.

3. “For doing homework for lesson 1, I got an excellent mark. So I'll make a good psychologist."

Which of the strategies for grouping information about yourself was used in this case?

4. “Mom wants me to grow up clean and demands that my room is always in perfect condition. I think that this is not necessary and it is enough to maintain order and just look after yourself and your things.

What method of assessing accuracy appeared in this case?

ATTENTION! All recipes are for reference only. Before use, consult with your doctor!

A self-assessment test is usually a set of specific open or closed (multiple-answer) questions that help to draw attention to one's self-confidence already during the test.

Online tests are becoming more and more popular among visitors to the World Wide Web due to their availability and prevalence and the growing interest in psychology. They help anyone who wants to understand what his self-esteem is.

Why are people so often insecure about themselves? Regardless social status, age, education and physical data, many women and men suffer from low self-esteem.

And this is not surprising - it is too difficult to resist comparing yourself with others. There are always more successful, smart, beautiful. The spirit of competition plays a cruel joke with us, distorting the process of understanding the individual as a unique, unrepeatable phenomenon.

Self-esteem depends on the environment and upbringing of the individual. Oddly enough, the higher the intelligence and the better the physical data, the more we tend to underestimate our strengths and worry about our shortcomings.

The ability to enjoy life and accept ourselves as nature created us plays one of the leading roles in shaping the level of self-esteem of the individual.

So, in order to determine your level of self-confidence, the easiest way is to take an online test aimed at studying the self-esteem of a person.

A psychological test suggested by Marilyn Sorensen, a psychologist, will help determine if you are suffering from low self-esteem. According to the author, the syndrome of low self-esteem is not only a manifestation of the depressed psychological state of the individual.

But he himself is capable of provoking many mental problems. Which affect personal life, relationships with others and the general emotional state.

The presented psychological online test is simple and clear. Anyone can calculate the results - the more points, the lower the self-esteem of the individual.

Answer questions honestly

Take a pen and a sheet of paper. Try to answer questions honestly. If you find the statement true, answer "Yes". If you know that the question is “not about you,” answer in the negative. For each affirmative answer, there is a point.

1. I usually feel anxious in an unfamiliar situation, when I do not understand what others expect of me.

2. I have a hard time accepting criticism.

3. I'm afraid to look stupid.

4. I tend to exaggerate my failures and overlook my successes.

5. I am very critical of myself and others.

6. I have periods when I am energetically depleted or depressed.

7. Most of the time I feel anxiety or fear.

8. Injustice towards me seems deserved to me.

9. I'm afraid to trust people, I don't know when and whom to trust.

10. I often feel like I'm saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things.

11. I doubt if I look good enough.

12. I am often confused.

13. It seems to me that everyone is focused on what I do or say, and are always ready to criticize me.

14. I am afraid of making a mistake that others will notice.

15. I am depressed by the things I do and say, and the things I didn't do and couldn't say.

16. I tend to refuse to change my life just out of fear of making a mistake.

17. I am very defensive and even overly rebuff when criticized.

18. I have no idea what I am capable of, what I can achieve.

19. I let my fear and doubt control the decisions I make.

20. I think that something bad might happen.

21. I do not allow myself to relax and feel awkward during intimacy.

22. Usually I go from one extreme to another: either I talk too much about myself or I don't say anything.

23. Often I experience such strong excitement that I cannot even utter a word.

24. Sometimes I can doubt the correctness of the decision for several days.

25. I do my best to avoid conflict and confrontation.

26. They tell me that I am overly sensitive.

27. I experience a feeling of insignificance, it seems to me that I am inadequate and infantile.

28. I think there is something wrong with me.

29. I find myself feeling like I don't know what is expected of me.

30. I constantly compare myself to others.

31. I often think negatively about myself and others.

32. I feel that others treat me badly and try to outdo me.

33. In the evening, I often immerse myself in thoughts about the past, remember who and what said to me, did and to whom and what I said, I did.

34. I often make decisions that will please others, ignoring my own impulses and desires.

35. It seems to me that others do not respect me.

36. I refrain from sharing my views, opinions, ideas with others.

37. I sometimes prefer to tell a lie if I think the truth will lead to a stream of criticism or rejection.

38. Sometimes I keep quiet for fear of seeming stupid or incompetent.

39. I do not set myself specific goals for the future.

40. I am easily persuaded.

41. I do not always understand how I feel.

42. Parents often scolded me for mistakes or bad behavior.

43. I think my life is much harder than the life of the people around me.

44. I avoid certain situations so that I don't have to experience discomfort.

45. I'm more of a perfectionist, I need to look perfect and do everything perfectly.

46. I don't like going to events alone, dining alone, I need company.

47. Often the cause of my anger and frustration is the words and actions of others.

48. When I worry, I often sweat, tremble, my heart rate increases, I am prone to digestive disorders, I immediately rush into tears, it is difficult for me to concentrate.

49. I am very afraid of criticism, rejection.

50. I rely on the opinions of others when making decisions.

If you scored from 0 to 7 points, congratulations! The level of self-esteem you need! Keep it up! You are an independent person, and your decisions do not depend on others. Critical nitpicking doesn’t “hurt” you a lot, you soberly assess your own abilities.

8-15 points - the level of self-esteem is average. It is not low, but sometimes you are still visited by painful doubts from the series “How do I look?”, “Is everything okay with me?”, “What will they think of me if I. ".

16-25 points mean that the self-esteem of the individual is low.

26-50 points are signaling to you: The level of self-esteem is below the baseboard! This gives you considerable discomfort (mental and physical). Time to get to work on yourself!

If the result online test you are not satisfied, we lend a helping hand "to ourselves." We sit down at the table, arm ourselves with a pen and paper and draw up a detailed plan for "pulling the hippopotamus out of the swamp."

Good all the means that uplift the mood and tone. At some stage, you may need the help of a psychotherapist or psychologist.

Not everyone will like your changes - especially those who are used to riding you and goading you. But you have nothing to lose except the shackles of low self-esteem.

Attending psychological trainings and seminars sometimes works wonders. The main thing is your firm desire to change your life for the better!

Society is disturbed by the topic of insecurity, low self-esteem and the natural question: "How to become more confident in yourself?". What is self-esteem? How do problems develop with it? What does the picture of good self-esteem look like? - in this article I try to highlight.

Self-esteem is a very interesting thing. Literally, the word means one's own evaluation of oneself. In reality, for the most part, we blindly appropriate for ourselves, and then reproduce the assessments that parents or other significant people gave us in childhood, calling all this "wealth" self-esteem.

Self-esteem by inertia

Agree, as a person has learned to walk, ride a bike, hold a racket when playing tennis, so he automatically continues to do it. No wonder they say: "Habit is second nature." Any teacher will tell you that it is much more difficult to re-teach than to teach correctly from the beginning. Much easier to keep doing it the old way! Which we do, automatically continuing to evaluate and treat ourselves the way we were treated in childhood.

There is a lot of automatism in our life! And this, on the one hand, is good! Imagine if EVERY activity, such as brushing your teeth, had to be relearned daily! Nightmare!

However, automatism is also bad, since we “memorized” many actions incorrectly, dysfunctionally, not in the best way. And often, just out of habit, we continue to AUTOMATICALLY negatively think about ourselves, automatically take actions and believe in attitudes that MAKE US UNHAPPY!

At the same time, our rhythms of life are high, there is not enough time to notice this, you need to run somewhere all the time, achieve something, be in time somewhere. We do all this, for the most part, in ways that were mastered in childhood, up to 3-5 years! And these methods are not always effective.

Low self-esteem - circles of hell

Most often it happens like this: a person lives in such an automatic way for about thirty or forty years. Having literally reached the point, going through the same “circles of hell” many, many times, that is, repetitive situations and the same type of relationship, a person is disappointed, mentally injured, exhausted.

“Having passed my earthly path to half, I found myself in a gloomy forest” - Dante, “The Divine Comedy”. That's when a person suspends his automatic movement and creatively reconsiders his life. Well, or a bad option - alcohol, drugs, depression, the destruction of relationships, etc.

Oh, if we could stop earlier, think, and become aware of our automatisms, those that make us unhappy, then realizing, we would probably put much more effort into changing them! And life would become happier, and many problems could be avoided! Such problems are solved by psychotherapy. However, unfortunately, in most cases, people turn to a psychologist only when they find themselves "in a gloomy forest", literally "on the ruins of an old life."

How self-doubt is formed

Parents did not particularly praise, supported little man in his passion for drawing (or whatever). They were, in general, not opposed, but looked at his artistic creations as a cute daub. He grew up, fully aware that his parents are still connoisseurs of art, they and great artists, so to speak, do not care.

However, he, stubbornly continuing to draw, periodically vaguely catches himself thinking that it is unlikely that his “daub” will be interesting to anyone except himself, and even more so, it will be sold. Therefore, his ACTIVITY, both in drawing itself and in demonstrating his work to others, and in promoting them to exhibitions and markets, will be LOW.

Just like that, simply, an angry, inadequate, or overly subjective assessment of others turns into one's own low self-esteem.

At the same time, a person can, on a conscious level, even believe in himself, consider it necessary to promote his work. Only now he will not have enough ENERGY for this. This may be felt by him as “banal” laziness, or as a general reduced tone, he may even conclude that he “simply” lacks talent. This is such self-deception.

Have you ever wondered what exactly high self-esteem is for?

How does a change in self-esteem affect our behavior, relationships, life? Why is self-confidence training so appealing? Is low self-esteem subject to condemnation and correction in any talk show?

Surveys show that adequate, good self-esteem is the key to our activity in achieving any goals and, no less important, our salvation and resuscitation in the event of inevitable life failures.

To save high level energy and activity in any (and especially in a bad and difficult) situation, personal strength is needed! Energy is the ability to make CONTRIBUTIONS, to invest your energy in successful activities. And in order to invest energy, you must HAVE it! Here it is - the main problem -

Low self-esteem takes energy

Do you consider yourself an energetic person? Anyone who says that he has no energy is delusional. Everyone has energy! However, someone spends it mostly on self-realization and achievements, and someone turns their energy against themselves, spending it on self-condemnation, materializing in the form of bodily illnesses and organizing their own mental suffering (naturally, all this unconsciously).

The whole point is HOW a person handles his energy. I, as a practicing psychologist, Gestalt therapist, argue that the answer to this question is the first task of ANY person on the path to a better life: “How do you handle your energy? What are you spending it on? What are you investing in?" To answer these questions Not at random, but accurately and correctly, you need to be aware of yourself!

Self-awareness is the opposite of automatism, the way out of it

Being aware of how you are managing your energy here and now leads to a new, creative, better adjustment to the current situation.

As a rule, we are not up to awareness, and therefore, in most people, energy is bound by automatisms. This is where the feeling comes from that “I don’t pull my dreams”, “I don’t have the strength to implement and complete my projects, and so I live on the verge of my capabilities.”

Decide that "everything is bad" or look for a way out?

A considerable percentage of energy is destroyed by worries about one's self-esteem, when external events are perceived "too" personally and gloomy. All these events must necessarily MEAN something negative about a person personally.

For example, that he is not worthy, or that he is a bad person, that something is wrong with him, or that life gives him a sign of cancellation. The result - he wallows in painful experiences of guilt, shame, anger, sadness and disappointment. And this is instead of looking for ways out, support inside and outside, to resolve the situation, and not to confuse it even more.

Strive not to improve, but to have self-esteem

In order to HAVE self-esteem in general, we need to BE someone ourselves, we need to feel ourselves, meet ourselves. Moreover, plus, you need to study and love this yourself! And this is WORK, friends! Many of us make a conclusion about ourselves without having done this work. This conclusion is FALSE! This is not a SELF-appraisal. It is impossible to truly rely on such a conclusion and there is no energy there!

After all, self-esteem is

OWN assessment of yourself. This is when YOU evaluate yourself, and on the basis of YOUR experiences of yourself, YOUR ideas and values (NOT on the basis of thoughts, and even more so those of others). And when
you are able to KEEP this SELF-estimation of yours in spite of the evaluations of other people, no matter if these evaluations of other people are higher or lower than yours!

Good self-esteem is maintained from two points - from the inside and from the outside.

Good self-esteem from the inside -

it is our positive attitude towards ourselves: acceptance of our weaknesses and imperfections, as well as recognition of our strengths, abilities and desires. But, this is in general!

An example of good self-esteem from the inside

Let's say you feel that you do not fully reveal your emotional potential in relationships with people, you feel that there are areas where you are open, and there are areas where you are constrained and frozen. If you have such an assessment of yourself (this is your self-esteem), then you keep it, even if someone tells you that you are “super emotional”, and someone that is “completely clamped”.

This is easy to do if your self-esteem is based on your real EXPERIENCE OF YOURSELF, in this particular case, on experiencing and knowing your emotional zones (I am emotionally open with Vasya, and clamped with Olya). You can rely on such self-esteem, it contains real KNOWLEDGE that gives energy.

Good self-esteem on the outside

Sounds a little crazy, especially after all of the above. However, good self-esteem must be REALISTIC, that is, confirmed from the outside by reality and other people!

Are you a good writer? Or as in a joke: “I don’t know, I haven’t tried”?

After all, on the one hand, you certainly cannot be a good writer if you have not written anything! On the other hand, how many people, so many opinions. Let's say you still wrote a couple of essays. Someone will evaluate these compositions of yours as brilliant, someone will remain indifferent, and someone will evaluate them as "garbage".

Reality is a slippery topic

There is no objective reality! However, there are many subjective opinions - realities, and there are unspoken agreements between people!

Example: the novel "Anna Karenina". Everyone reads their own Anna Karenina, their own interpretation of it. However, such a book also EXISTS, and there is an agreement that this is a masterpiece of world literature!

External self-assessment support

Each of us absolutely needs the SUPPORT of our self-esteem by other people. Without such support, maintaining a good, high level of vitality in communication, writing essays and other achievements is simply IMPOSSIBLE! Since a lot of effort will be expended on the invisible struggle against non-recognition.

You must be recognized by the people! Recognition as external support is absolutely necessary, without it, self-esteem will periodically collapse! Let it be the recognition and support of at least one person! If you don’t have the support of people in an important issue for you, then you need to win it! If you don’t know how to conquer, then LEARN, because in psychic reality, as well as in physical reality, one man is not a warrior in the field, no matter what anyone says.

If you stand alone against a group of people, then most likely the group will ignore you or force you out, and your self-esteem will have nothing to rely on in external reality. Therefore, it will periodically collapse. You will face the REALITY that none of the people really recognized your value in that other, third question.

The lack of support for your self-esteem from the outside, or simply, lack of recognition, is a difficult and very energy-consuming situation.

An example of the impact on self-esteem of the lack of recognition from the outside

The question of a client from psychotherapeutic practice: how to maintain a high opinion of yourself as a woman, if by the age of thirty or forty not a single relationship with a man really developed?

In such a situation, a woman, of course, can rely on internal self-esteem, learn to appreciate and love herself. And, of course, this is much better than thinking badly about yourself. Adequate, good internal self-esteem is a valuable achievement and a very important resource! Without this, further strengthening of self-esteem is impossible.

But, alas, this is not enough, because with a good or bad opinion of herself, a woman still remains in isolation, remains alone. To change the situation, you need to reinforce self-esteem from the outside, enlist the support of a group of people, in this case, men! And for this you need

Act, conquer, influence!

At the same time, they run the risk of rejection, criticism and indifference of this very group. Enter and be in a relationship, find the value of yourself in them and them for yourself. Win recognition of your value from other people and keep it, no matter what!

Examples of stressful situations in life and at work

The state of stress exhausts a person, the quality of life decreases. Moreover, each organism has an adaptive energy reserve. Each person has a reserve of strength and the possibility of psychologically overcoming the consequences of a tense situation are individual.

There are examples of stressful situations that most strongly affect the personality. Any change in living conditions causes tension to which a person adapts. Consider the most significant stressful situations in the work and personal sphere, compiled by psychologists based on research results.

Stress in everyday life

Any stressful event should be considered as an interaction between a person and his environment. The same situations for someone will become critical, and the other copes with them. What can influence the degree of stress?

Character, temperament, self-esteem. Anxious people are more susceptible to critical circumstances. A person with a weak potential in life is depleted faster, he does not have enough resources to fight.
age periods. At every stage of life, there are moments of vulnerability and vulnerability. The critical group includes teenagers, pregnant women, and the elderly.
A person exhausted during an illness experiences stress more acutely, since the disease is a critical factor.

Events that lead to social, financial and physical changes cause tension. Psychologists have developed situations that significantly affect health, morale, and adaptive capacity. There is a special rating of the most traumatic moments.

Scale of stressful life events in descending order

Various authors worked on the development of stress examples, but the American psychiatrists Holmes and Ray were the very first. Their analysis is connected with the dependence of diseases on traumatic events occurring in life. Scientists worked with a large database of patients, data of five thousand people were processed.

The conclusions of psychiatrists were presented in a special table, which describes strong stressful situations in life.

In the first place is the death of a loved one or loved one. The stages of experiencing death are long, sometimes a person cannot recover from it until the end of his life.
After the experience of death, divorce is most difficult to endure. Stress during the divorce period exceeds the permissible norms, as a person has to cope with stress at all levels.
Going to jail is rated as severe stress new factor. In some cases, when a family member is brought to justice, his relatives are also affected. This is a strong emotional burden for the family.
Acute illness or injury. The situations associated with the disease are critical due to the loss of working capacity, and the consciousness of one's own inferiority, for example, in case of injuries, is a strong stress for the modern person.

In life, there are not only negative events, scientists have found that positive situations also affect the level of stress. Positive situations on the stress scale include:

wedding;

reconciliation with a loved one;

retirement;

pregnancy;

vacation, holidays.

Sexual problems, difficulties with collectors due to overdue debts, conflicts in relationships, moving and changing residences reduce resources and affect stress. In modern life, examples of stress factors have increased. Tension was added to the table due to traffic jams, the loss of a mobile phone, news of disasters and terrorist attacks.

Each factor is rated with points, if several events are superimposed, then the stress becomes high and can pose a threat to health.

In addition to everyday life, it is worth highlighting a separate group of stress factors at work. Work situations that cause stress are on the stress scale at the initial level. Problems at work affect health, the psychological climate in the team, and general moral well-being. Consider examples of working traumatic moments.

The employee is overloaded with work tasks, he does not fit into the allotted period of time, he is forced to stay at work. The main feelings of a person in this case are constant anxiety, fear of not being on time, fatigue.

Interestingly, inaction at work can evoke the same emotions.

Order conflict. Such a stress factor develops due to the inconsistency of the leadership. The employee is given instructions that contradict each other. Requirements can radically contradict, this causes tension, a person cannot effectively fulfill any of the instructions.

Instability, expectation of bad news. Some companies experience crisis situations from time to time or are on the verge of bankruptcy. Employees of such organizations are subject to constant fear. Unrest is associated with the possibility of delays in wages, layoffs, the need to look for a new job.

Boring activities at work. Uninteresting tasks affect the emotional state. A person uses any options to not perform work assignments. At the same time, one and the same activity will be interesting for one, but not for another. It's a matter of professional preference.

Bad working conditions. Poor lighting, dampness, cold, noise - these situations negatively affect a person and make him feel stressed.

Mobbing in a team. Bullying in a team is one of the most powerful experiences at work. In a situation of psychological discomfort, a person can get sick, mobbing is one of the most common reasons for dismissal.

Some stressful events can be anticipated and you can try to prepare for them. For example, in a situation of pregnancy, a woman goes to courses, reads literature in order to be ready for a new role. Other situations cannot be predicted, they become a blow and cause great stress. This is the death of a family member or illness. A person can overcome some of the negative moments, they become a life lesson for him. For example, an employee managed to build a time management system and coped with the workload.

Video: Psychological workshop by Evgeny Yakushev "How to deal with stress"

Self-esteem at work - is it normal?

The essence of my problem is in the professional sphere. Not so long ago, I was an ordinary engineer, I worked in a department and, in fact, I had two bosses: my immediate boss (head of department), in whose subordination I worked, and the head of my boss (head of department). I respected these people very much, took an example from them, learned from them. Despite my temporary experience in the profession, I confidently coped with all the tasks, improvised, the boss could safely leave the department to me when she went on vacation, or if there were no bosses at all, I was in charge. In such a situation, I felt like a fish in water, freely, I felt my importance. A colleague worked with me at that time, whom I helped in every possible way, prompted, even to the detriment of my duties.

After a year of work, the head of the department offers me to organize a separate department in which I can do my own work without being distracted by other problems. But it so happened that he was “removed” and I was appointed head of this new department, without subordinates. After a while, my former boss quits for family reasons. Instead of the head of the department, a completely inexperienced person comes. He is good as a person, but as a worker he is a complete zero. Let's say, he came, by the way. The head of the department in which I previously worked is my colleague. I advise the beginning management as a colleague to behave, what to do, etc. And in the end it turns out that I myself fade into the background. No one consults with me, everyone is on their own. When the new head of department takes a vacation, he puts my colleague in his place. After that, I just got screwed over. Moreover, she constantly says that she does not want to replace him, she does not need it, but nevertheless she does it. For me it was very important, not in terms of money, but in terms of significance. Now my self-esteem has plummeted and continues to plummet. Maybe it's envy, but envy, when you imitate a person in order to achieve something, but I have nothing to imitate. Every day I see all the shortcomings in the work of her department, but because of resentment I don’t want to help her, sometimes even communicate. Recently I learned about a vacancy at the enterprise, an ordinary engineer, but the salary is higher and the boss is experienced. A colleague, having learned that I was planning to leave, changed her face. Tell me what to do, is it worth continuing to work in such an environment or changing activities?

Is it normal? Patient age: 28 years

How to increase self-esteem at work

Simple rules to help increase self-esteem and strengthen your position in the office or at work

Almost all spheres of our life depend on the level of self-esteem. It is one thing if we behave quietly, modestly and imperceptibly in our personal lives, and it is quite another to choose such a model of behavior in the office. It is rather difficult for an indecisive person not only to achieve success and make a career, but also to earn the respect of not only colleagues, but also superiors. If you are timid and indecisive, then you should not think that you will not see a good career. There are many ways to raise your self-esteem and keep it from reflecting on your career.

Simple rules on how to increase self-esteem at work

Rule One: Forget About Your Low Self-Esteem

Do not think that it is vital for you to work on yourself. Relax, be yourself, try to remove the internal clamps and work calmly. The most important thing is to believe that you will definitely achieve your goals.

Rule Two: Try not to compare yourself to your peers

Remember that in any team there are people who work either better or worse than you. If you suffer from low self-esteem, then you will constantly feel that the people around you are more professional. As a rule, any comparison will not be in your favor. So why upset yourself needlessly? If you really want to do analysis, then compare yourself ... with yourself. For example, this month you managed to close more successful deals than in the previous one, or today you performed much better at the planning meeting than yesterday.

Rule Three: Love yourself

Don't scold or criticize yourself. Absolutely everyone makes mistakes, the main thing is to be able to analyze them, correct them and try not to allow them in the future. No matter how many “mistakes” you make, focus on your successes and achievements. So that your successes are not forgotten, start something like a journal in which you will mark your big and small achievements. Most importantly, do not forget to reward yourself for even the smallest victory over yourself. For example, they successfully negotiated - buy yourself a box of chocolates, wrote a good article - treat yourself to a new lipstick, made a new proposal that improved the company's income - buy yourself something of their clothes.

Rule Four: Stop making excuses and apologizing all the time

The more you make excuses, the worse it is for your self-esteem. Once again, remember that there are no perfect workers. Even your boss sometimes makes mistakes at work. If it happened that you did something wrong, try not to panic. First of all, soberly assess the situation and think about what consequences your mistake can lead to, whether it can be corrected. If you are "caught in the act", then try to calmly convey to your superiors why you did this and promise to fix everything.

Rule Five: Don't Underestimate Your Merit

Always remember that, firstly, you have received a good education, secondly, you have studied a lot of professional literature, and thirdly, you have attended many advanced training courses. If you were nothing, if you had no value to the company, then you were fired a long time ago. Let yourself feel like a pro. Let yourself and your colleagues know that you are rightfully in your position.

Rule six: educate yourself

Study professional literature, be interested in novelties and the latest developments, use advanced technologies. The more you know about the business you are doing, the more confident you will feel among colleagues. By educating yourself, you will not only increase your self-esteem, but also distinguish yourself favorably in the eyes of management. Make it a rule every day to learn something new or do a job that is unusual for you.

Rule Seven: Don't Be Afraid to Ask Colleagues for Help

If you don’t know something, or something doesn’t work out for you, then it’s better to overcome yourself and turn to experienced colleagues. Nobody is perfect, so nothing will happen if you show that you do not understand something. Tips from colleagues will help you do your job better and avoid mistakes. It is better to overcome embarrassment now than to blush later for your mistakes.

Rule Eight: Learn to Overcome Your Fears

Finally, stop being afraid of everything. Our thoughts are material and with your fears you will only attract failures to yourself. Do not dwell on your mistakes, remember that they can always be corrected. But if you constantly think that the boss is unhappy with you, that you are threatened with dismissal, that you will make a mistake, then try to imagine that your far-fetched fears have become real. Take a deep breath and think about how you will act. Voice your problem out loud and make a plan for how you will solve it. Such thoughtfulness will allow you not to be confused in the face of a real "danger" and will give you the opportunity to act calmly and without panic.

Rule Nine: Choose the Right Social Circle

Try to communicate with positive colleagues who are ready to support and praise you. Peace of mind is the key to high self-esteem and a successful career, so avoid people who constantly put you down and criticize your work methods. Limit contact with people you don't like.

Rule Ten: Make a List of Your Good Qualities

These can be both business and personal qualities, but there should be more than 20 of them. Read this list before you start your day, or better yet, hang it in a visible place so that you can remind yourself during the day how smart and super professional you are.

The most important rule - do not be afraid to act. Be decisive and confidently go to your goal. Believing in yourself is the first step to success.

Self-esteem at work example

Hello! If you want to do well - do it yourself, if you want to do well - trust professionals. That's how it is with me. I sent out my resume (I wrote the first version myself). They offered a good job. And even very good. Only I needed, according to my preparation and previous practice, not just good, but excellent. Could not understand what was the matter? It's good that this site caught my eye. He suggested that specialists conduct an audit - why is my resume not working to achieve my goal? Help me answer the questions I had. Just a few strokes made, and the result is amazing. Today I occupy exactly the position that meets my ambitions. Both moral and even material. Thank you partners!

Good day! Who wants to achieve success in life - welcome to the agency! Professionals work here. They'll help you figure out the best way to do it. Everything is top notch. Thankful. Already working. One of the best construction companies in Moscow.

I want to say a huge thank you and express my gratitude to the GOODSTAGE recruitment agency, which employs experienced specialists, namely, I want to turn to Margarita for professional and competent work. In the shortest possible time I received a structured resume. The impression from the first stage of communication with such a specialist became a convincing argument for me to continue cooperation with professionals in their field. I recommend contacting Margarita for assistance in finding a job, because Margarita is definitely a pro in her field!

RESPECTFULLY! OLGA.

Head of Sales Department

Hello! I would like to thank you for your very efficient work. Preparation of resume and cover letter, with translation into English language performed at the highest professional level. I would especially like to note the work of the agency's expert, Elena Buryakova. When compiling the resume, very competent additions were made, which I myself did not remember when I compiled the resume myself. Thank you for your work and attitude!

The ordered service is the "Advanced" package, translation of resumes with adaptation to the standards of Western companies.

Good afternoon. I would like to thank you for your professional work.

Very impressive is the speed of work and the attention of the staff to the details. I can say for sure that I will recommend you to all my friends.

Thanks! Konstantin. EXAMPLE Resume Sales Director Ordered service - "Advanced" package, translation of resumes into English with adaptation to the standards of a Western company.

Director of Sales

I am grateful to you for preparing my resume. They worked quickly and efficiently, showing interest in the final result. In the process of work, they made suggestions and took into account my personal opinion and comments. The final version of the resume fully meets all the standards and my wishes. I would love to use it for my job search.

Thanks again and good luck with your hard work!

Hello! I want to express my gratitude to the specialists of the Goodstage agency for their thoughtful and high-quality work. After the "upgrade" of my resume, the number of views on search sites and the number of calls on it increased significantly. I have already been to several interviews and the recommendations that you gave me in the Interview Preparation course really help me feel confident in interviews. Increased self-esteem. Until I quit my previous job, I can’t often go to interviews, but at the same time I can already choose which interviews to go to, and which ones are not worth wasting time on? I have already been invited to one of the places to work, but I want to wait a bit and choose the best.

Sales Manager

Greetings to all who decide to view or leave a review about this site!

I want to thank the Goodstage agency and its staff for their attentiveness and professional work in compiling a resume. HR expert Natalia gave answers and explanations to all my questions without blurring in time. Great job, it was a pleasure to work with you.

I wish you success, with best wishes, Victor. EXAMPLE Retail Director resume

The ordered service is "Resume Editing", translation of resumes with adaptation to the standards of Western companies.

Branch Manager / Retail

I express my gratitude to the specialists of the Goodstage agency for the quality work done. I especially want to note the work of Anna. With a revised resume, I began to feel much more confident in interviews. The number of responses to my resume has increased markedly. Thank you! Sincerely, Sophia. EXAMPLE OF A LOGISTICS CV Ordered service - Drawing up a resume, cover letter. P

Good day! I have been working in the banking industry for many years. For the first time this year, when transferring from one bank to another, I encountered increased attention from the employer to writing a resume. I have always believed that important aspects of employment are such moments as: universities that you graduate from, courses taken, knowledge of languages and, of course, work experience. But no! The higher the level, the higher the requirements. So my resume, compiled according to the standards, carrying the basic information about me, turned out to be “not” good enough. I had to ask for help, I'm not afraid of this expression, to professionals in every sense of the word. My resume was corrected very quickly and efficiently.

I want to express my gratitude for such a responsible approach and competent work. Sincerely, Larisa

The ordered service is “Advanced Package” + Translation of resume in English.

Thank you for your excellent work. I am very pleased with your efficiency, responsibility and, of course, professionalism. Thank you for the tips and clarifications on my specific nuances, in terms of possible questions on my resume and finding satisfactory answers to withdraw them. Once again, I sincerely thank you and wish you success!

With best wishes, Tatyana. EXAMPLE OF ECOLOGIST CV

Employee: Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich

Date of diagnosis: 13.06.08

I. Employee competencies

1. Leadership. Organizational skills

Prone to autonomy and independence. Seeks to influence what is happening, to the position of a "creative" leader who determines intellectual values. Development prospects increase activity. Having felt a sincere interest in the matter, he is able to show a very high energy that others will feel. In this case, it can act as an organizer for a limited period of time. However, it may not always make well-founded decisions, it may evade responsibility. Due to emotional vulnerability, instability in the management of people is possible. Recognizing him as a significant and respected person is an important component of a sense of well-being and success. Currently not recommended for promotion to leadership positions.

2. Intellectual sphere and creativity

Has high intelligence. He thinks brightly, vividly and extraordinary. Experiences a creative upsurge, solving interesting problems, knows how to find a non-standard way of solving. Sees perspectives of ideas and tasks. Developed cognitive thinking. Has good abilities for logical analysis. The best application of his intellect is in the scientific and cognitive sphere. Can carry out theoretical developments in innovative areas. The level of verbal culture is low, it can be verbose, it is not always able to clearly explain its position.

3. Business qualities. Purposefulness, ways and means of achieving the goal. activity, vitality

Strives for development and self-realization. Has a healthy pragmatism. High, but unstable activity and performance. During the execution of the work, he may lose interest if the task is solved at a theoretical level, and the remaining work is perceived as a routine. With interest in this work, he can deny himself rest and relaxation. Persistent in achieving his goals, he can go to them, sacrificing other people's interests. At this stage, goals are not always well understood. Able to switch from one activity to another. May not bring tasks to completion, does not know how to concentrate on one task for a long time. Not afraid of risky situations. Can take on cases that do not correspond to his competence, not realizing responsibility. Neglects the consequences. Sometimes it can show a "teenage" dislike for generally recognized authorities.

4. Teamwork. Emotional-volitional sphere. Self-esteem. Conflict. Stress tolerance

Able to work in a team under the condition of a friendly atmosphere, mutual understanding, respect and recognition of his value as a generator of ideas. He relies more on his own opinion, impressions or fantasies, not always being able to adequately and critically evaluate them. It does not give in to influences, pressure from outside can give out a reaction of protest or withdraw into oneself. Needs a sense of freedom.

Unsolved problem of self-affirmation. Interests are directed at oneself, there is a lack of sensitivity and empathy. Critical to life and others. prone to resentment. It can aggravate relationships, complicate the joint solution of problems.

He considers himself unique in some way. Self-esteem is high, but unstable, largely depends on the results of activities and the attention and respect of others. He does not close his eyes to his own shortcomings, sometimes he perceives criticism in his address painfully, but he takes it into account, takes care of his public reputation. It can give out unexpected reactions on such occasions, which from the outside may seem insignificant, and, on the contrary, perceives some serious failures in cold blood.

In difficult and extreme situations, he is able to maintain clarity of thought, act quickly, actively and expediently. With prolonged stress, he may underestimate his own condition, so over time, the level of stress resistance may decrease. Low level of emotional endurance, however, in a stressful situation, such a person becomes emotionally unreceptive. This allows you not to be distracted from work, but there may be problems in relationships with people.

5. Communicative qualities. Contact. openness-closedness

Willingness to communicate, friendliness, ability to convince. He tries to work and be among people. Able to find compromises. The “social instinct” is not sufficiently developed, in communication it may not adhere to the rules and hierarchy. Immediate, may be incorrect. It can become isolated, go “into itself”, if it is not possible to build harmonious relations with others. Reckless steps and abrupt actions are possible. Some people instantly evoke sympathy, some - a sharp rejection. Feels the need for a large number of contacts. Is in search of recognition, likes to be in the center of events. The craving for communication is opposed by the craving for solitude, which is sometimes felt very strongly.

6. Vulnerabilities and ways to compensate

Idealistically perceives close relationships, wants to consider them unshakable, afraid of disappointment. Lack of recognition can be perceived as disrespectful, leading to a defensive stance. Emotionally hurt. For self-defense, keep a distance. It is difficult to manage conflict-free relationships, it is difficult to be creative in their construction. Currently inclined towards maximalism. To compensate for vulnerabilities, it is necessary to establish clear rules for interaction and explain the motives of people's actions.

II. Way of employee management and career planning

1. Motivation. The main resource for self-realization, ways to replenish it

New interesting ideas, contacts, the ability to achieve visible results, respect from colleagues and management. Emphasizing his personal uniqueness and the uniqueness of the business he is engaged in. Demonstration of conveniences, benefits and pleasant aspects of work. With a clear statement of the task and deadlines, give the opportunity to independently distribute their resources.

2. Conditions for effective work

Clearly set the task, stipulating technologies and rules, fixing the agreements in writing;
require specific wording;
criticism should be hidden, in the form of an analysis of the situation;
control intermediate results, if necessary, remind about agreements;
build working relationships based on mutual respect, create a psychologically favorable atmosphere;
set clear deadlines, preferably with a margin;
if possible, it is best to provide a flexible work schedule, avoid excessive formalism;
do not require the planned execution of tasks, he is able to cope with work in situations of time pressure;
listen to his opinion about new opportunities for developing the business, building / reorganizing various systems, classifications, etc.;
take into account that he can present important information in the form of a joke or irony.

3. Do not demand and expect

Punctuality and diligence;
consistency and completeness;
permanent order in the workplace;
servility;
quality performance of routine work;
conducting diplomatic negotiations;
the ability to gently adapt to the interlocutor and the ability to subtly feel his reaction.

It is desirable that the work be interesting for himself, provide a variety of impressions, include new contacts, the acquisition of new knowledge and skills. With pleasure he can perform mobile work, go on business trips. Direct to work related to the study of opportunities, the generation of ideas, the collection of information, the search for ways out of non-standard situations, analysis, project development.

The most acceptable at the moment is the strategy of building a career "horizontally". Following it, the specialist methodically raises his professional level, striving to become an expert, a "master" in his field.

High creative potential, activity, efficiency, quick switching, striving for high achievements are important factors for the good work of an employee. Can carry out theoretical developments in various fields, generate ideas and implement them in practice. However, some specificity of thinking and behavior, demonstrativeness and individualism can interfere with the productivity of work and relationships in the team.

You can improve the situation by creating suitable working conditions for him, which will either completely satisfy him, or convince him to compromise and adjust his behavior. Awareness of the prospects in this place, accountability and clear agreements will streamline its activity, leading it to greater productivity and effectiveness.